Author Topic: Official Retirement (Read 1307 times)

Gold_TSG · « **on:** July 18, 2010, 07:12:38 AM »

I know I'm late getting this out, but I've been preoccupied. In short, I'm retiring from mugen. I don't have the time to take requests or anything anymore (I'll still try to visit and see how everyone is doing when I can) and I've been through a hell (mentally and emotionally) I wouldn't wish upon even my worst enemies.

To keep details short, it involved my Ex. She betrayed me, backstabbed me, hurt me, and broke my heart in the worst ways you could possibly imagine. I started hearing a voice in my head, always telling me to give up, to submit, to become something I wasn't; evil. It tormented me 24/7, awake and asleep. More than once, it took control of my body, and all I could do was watch and listen as it spoke and acted out of my control, trying to hurt those closest to me, to push them away. I struggled over the course of 8 months to hold on to my sanity. The pain I suffered was unimaginable. I was so dangerously close to needing to be put into an asylum... I don't know how, but with help from my 2 closest friends, I beat it. I pushed that darkness back into the depths of my mind and came out stronger than I have ever been. I owe them everything. After that, I cut my Ex out of my life permanently. I have been working on getting my life back in order ever since.

Demons do not exist. The only true evil that exists in this world is the evil that dwells within us all. I experienced this firsthand.

Lord_Waffles · « **Reply #1 on:** July 18, 2010, 08:54:33 AM »

I know

of people will say this but I completely understand when someone you LOVE
turns out to be a monster. You start to question yourself at every turn and everyone
else in your life is wrong. Glad to hear that you've pushed passed that. May God be with
you on your journey.

~Hale "R@CE" Caesar~ · « **Reply #2 on:** July 18, 2010, 10:39:30 AM »

Quote from: Gold_TSG on July 18, 2010, 07:12:38 AM

I know I'm late getting this out, but I've been preoccupied. In short, I'm retiring from mugen. I don't have the time to take requests or anything anymore (I'll still try to visit and see how everyone is doing when I can) and I've been through a hell (mentally and emotionally) I wouldn't wish upon even my worst enemies.

To keep details short, it involved my Ex. She betrayed me, backstabbed me, hurt me, and broke my heart in the worst ways you could possibly imagine. I started hearing a voice in my head, always telling me to give up, to submit, to become something I wasn't; evil. It tormented me 24/7, awake and asleep. More than once, it took control of my body, and all I could do was watch and listen as it spoke and acted out of my control, trying to hurt those closest to me, to push them away. I struggled over the course of 8 months to hold on to my sanity. The pain I suffered was unimaginable. I was so dangerously close to needing to be put into an asylum... I don't know how, but with help from my 2 closest friends, I beat it. I pushed that darkness back into the depths of my mind and came out stronger than I have ever been. I owe them everything. After that, I cut my Ex out of my life permanently. I have been working on getting my life back in order ever since.

Demons do not exist. The only true evil that exists in this world is the evil that dwells within us all. I experienced this firsthand.

Dude i have been there man, like my situation was bad too, the one who i luved and knew for years up'd turned her back on me only to get with another guy and then within a short time, she married him and before she did, she cut all ties with me.....

And i didnt even do anything to her and i was the same person who was always there for her and everything, and this random guy, where was he? She didnt even kno this guy or never even talked to him. But thru her ups and downs i was there. And look what i got for it....

But you kno what bro, it taught me

, it made me stronger, and it made me realize that if someone could actually do that to another person then that person is not worthy of you to begin with, so there is no point on feeling anything for them.

But mark my words though, she'll get what's coming to her, cus no one deserves to be done like that, NO ONE. Because your not just messing with their heart your messing with a person's life and mind....

KPT25 · « **Reply #3 on:** July 18, 2010, 12:20:29 PM »

wow,it seems you really had it rough lately man. The worst kind of evil can be the one within indeed

I really hope everything straighten up for you in the future in your life,you are a great dude and you didn't deserve what happened to you.

Remember,life can be really hard,but when you have a rough time,eventually it will balance it out on the good side
Best wishes in your life Gold_TSG,take care a lot man!

Slivern · « **Reply #4 on:** July 18, 2010, 02:42:15 PM »

I do not just wish the best of luck in your life. Conquer yourself, and your heart will shine as one once again. Your barely escaped your own corruption, and pushing it back won't be enough. Eventually, it will comeback as strong as you are.

Gold_TSG · « **Reply #5 on:** July 18, 2010, 04:28:03 PM »

Quote from: Slivern on July 18, 2010, 02:42:15 PM

I do not just wish the best of luck in your life. Conquer yourself, and your heart will shine as one once again. Your barely escaped your own corruption, and pushing it back won't be enough. Eventually, it will comeback as strong as you are.

It has already tried to come back once recently. It hurt me physically to fight, but didn't take me anywhere near as long to come out on top. I pushed it back within hours.

Thank you guys for your kind words and understanding. Karma's a bee-otch. I paid my dues, and she'll be after my Ex soon enough. No one deserves to go through what I went through. The very foundation of my being was shaken. Thankfully, I have not changed much. I'm wiser and more mature, but I remain myself at mind, body and soul.

Edit: I'm sorry for swearing.

Sabaki · « **Reply #6 on:** July 19, 2010, 10:43:47 AM »

Wow, sorry to hear that you went through so much help by someone who's supposed to love you. Love can really hurt at times.

Had a friend who's girl nearly changed him an took him away from me and my friends. Even though he found out that she was in love with someone else and was, in essence, using my friend, he stuck with her despite me & my friend's advice. He finally broke up with her when she became violent with him, but he had to relocate and stay hidden for a while.

Anyway, I pray that you can continue to heal yourself and move on to better & happier things. Mugen will always be around as long as the community supports the program, so come & visit whenever you get a chance.

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #7 on:** July 19, 2010, 12:07:58 PM »

Man if I knew your story I could probably tell you one of mine & it would be 100 times worse. I know the feeling of having thoughts that just don't make sense & really being " over the edge " But you know what, no woman is worth that. Why give them " the power " to do that to you?

Anyway, I think you are crazy for quitting your hobbies, as sometimes that is what helps pull us through things like what you are going through.

Best of Luck to you in your journey of life. Wherever it may lead you

Onju_Asakura · « **Reply #8 on:** July 19, 2010, 02:27:32 PM »

Gratz dude...You were strong

b.easy · « **Reply #9 on:** July 19, 2010, 04:27:48 PM »

You quit the mugen because you are tired of the mugen? It seems you've been inactive for over a year. Is this a welcome back topic?

Enso · « **Reply #10 on:** July 19, 2010, 05:17:10 PM »

@R@CE: It's true. But I can't explain much about it.

♦ßlôödÑinjå♦ · « **Reply #11 on:** July 19, 2010, 08:11:30 PM »

Peace out. Good luck in everything that you do.

Gold_TSG · « **Reply #12 on:** July 19, 2010, 11:39:08 PM »

Quote from: ÐÅRK†ÅLßÅíÑ © on July 19, 2010, 12:07:58 PM

Man if I knew your story I could probably tell you one of mine & it would be 100 times worse. I know the feeling of having thoughts that just don't make sense & really being " over the edge " But you know what, no woman is worth that. Why give them " the power " to do that to you?

Anyway, I think you are crazy for quitting your hobbies, as sometimes that is what helps pull us through things like what you are going through.

Best of Luck to you in your journey of life. Wherever it may lead you

This wasn't told for a comparrisson. I know what I went through, the story behind it, and the cause of it, as well as the unexpected effects it had on me.
I didn't quit all of my hobbies, only what I don't have time for. I am working on my drawing skills, as well as developing a novel.

Thank you for the luck.

C.R.O.M. jodafro619 · « **Reply #13 on:** July 20, 2010, 09:27:37 AM »

damn hate to see ya go man. don't be a stranger

and good luck on your future works!!!!

Gold_TSG · « **Reply #14 on:** July 20, 2010, 10:36:41 PM »

No one said I was leaving the forum. DX

C.R.O.M. jodafro619 · « **Reply #15 on:** July 20, 2010, 11:52:58 PM »

@ Gold: oops

!! my bad . well i get a pass for that boo boo for being old

Gold_TSG · « **Reply #16 on:** July 21, 2010, 04:14:03 PM »

Ya old fogey. Lmfao

xPreatorianx · « **Reply #17 on:** July 21, 2010, 06:09:36 PM »

Quote from: Gold_TSG on July 18, 2010, 07:12:38 AM

I know I'm late getting this out, but I've been preoccupied. In short, I'm retiring from mugen. I don't have the time to take requests or anything anymore (I'll still try to visit and see how everyone is doing when I can) and I've been through a hell (mentally and emotionally) I wouldn't wish upon even my worst enemies.

To keep details short, it involved my Ex. She betrayed me, backstabbed me, hurt me, and broke my heart in the worst ways you could possibly imagine. I started hearing a voice in my head, always telling me to give up, to submit, to become something I wasn't; evil. It tormented me 24/7, awake and asleep. More than once, it took control of my body, and all I could do was watch and listen as it spoke and acted out of my control, trying to hurt those closest to me, to push them away. I struggled over the course of 8 months to hold on to my sanity. The pain I suffered was unimaginable. I was so dangerously close to needing to be put into an asylum... I don't know how, but with help from my 2 closest friends, I beat it. I pushed that darkness back into the depths of my mind and came out stronger than I have ever been. I owe them everything. After that, I cut my Ex out of my life permanently. I have been working on getting my life back in order ever since.

Demons do not exist. The only true evil that exists in this world is the evil that dwells within us all. I experienced this firsthand.

Been there done that. Went through that for 7 days straight then ended up in a mental ward for 12 days. I hallucinated anything you could ever imagine. From killing people that were the closest to me. Seeing dead bodies all over my house. House catching on fire. You name it I experienced it. The mind is a very evil thing if it takes over completely. Especially with lack of sleep. Lack of sleep drives you insane literally. I'm a physical example of that.

Gold_TSG · « **Reply #18 on:** July 21, 2010, 10:46:59 PM »

We all experience insanity differently. I'll tell ya, though, 8 months a long time.

Slivern · « **Reply #19 on:** July 25, 2010, 01:29:40 AM »

Quote from: Gold_TSG on July 19, 2010, 11:39:08 PM

This wasn't told for a comparrisson. I know what I went through, the story behind it, and the cause of it, as well as the unexpected effects it had on me.
I didn't quit all of my hobbies, only what I don't have time for. I am working on my drawing skills, as well as developing a novel.

Thank you for the luck.

Really? That's amazing. I wanted to work on writing and drawing, but I chose to work on MUGEN characters over that because I don't have much time left. If 2012 is real, then I have to finish whatever I can, because I haven't released New Kakyoin in like one or two years. That's humiliating for me XD

I do have a DeviantArt also, but I debating whether or not I should post my drawings. Oh yeah, If you have a dA account, I would be happy to visit your page and take a look at your drawings.

Gold_TSG · « **Reply #20 on:** July 25, 2010, 06:58:33 AM »

I have a DA page, but I haven't updated it in over a year, so you won't find any of my current stuff there. If you have MSN or something, I could share that way.

Slivern · « **Reply #21 on:** July 26, 2010, 04:44:05 PM »

Ah, I see. But just in case, I'd like to know your dA username.

Gold_TSG · « **Reply #22 on:** July 27, 2010, 02:54:47 AM »

goldensunguru7

Random Regular · « **Reply #23 on:** July 27, 2010, 08:28:01 AM »

You have been like that for 8 months because of her or because what she did?
Because it seemed like something awful if you were like that

Gold_TSG · « **Reply #24 on:** July 27, 2010, 07:35:33 PM »

Both, actually. I was weak during that time, and couldn't let go of her.

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Author Topic: Official Retirement (Read 1307 times)

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