The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome

[The Utility Man]

Here we go again.....again...

Years ago a friend of mine on GameFAQ's made this CRAZY writing project based on all these various video game characters. I've decided to post this writing project here.

You'll need vast knowledge of video game series to understand everything.

Do you know of Resident Evil?
Donkey Kong Country?
Fire Emblem?
Final Fantasy?
Mortal Kombat?
Chrono Trigger?


If you can understand at least most of those you should enjoy this tournament.

[The Utility Man]

I will be posting this Tournament just as Super Saiyan Gnome posted it with a few minor tweaks which he is ok with., so at times there will be speaking in the third person but I don't mean myself.

Here is how the tourney bracket is set up and who faces who in the first round.

The Divisions will be bolded!


There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Diddy Kong (Donkey Kong Country series)
vs
Albert Wesker (Resident Evil series)

Yoshi (Yoshi series)
vs
De Loco (Skies of Arcadia)

Funky Kong (Donkey Kong Country series)
vs
Angry Sun (Super Mario Bros. 3)

Tails (Sonic the Hedgehog series)
vs
Lil Mac (Punch Out)

Knuckles (Sonic the Hedgehog series)
vs
Proto Man (Megaman Series)

KOSMOS (Xenosaga series)
vs
Naked Raiden (Metal Gear Solid series)

Sonic (Sonic the Hedgehog series)
vs
Magus (Chrono Trigger)

Zelda (Legend of Zelda series)
vs
Pikachu (Pokemon series)

I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Hard Man (Megaman 3)
vs
Kain Highwind (Final Fantasy IV)

Galcian (Skies of Arcadia)
vs
Gilder (Skies of Arcadia)

DQV Hero (Dragon Quest 5)
vs
Dr. Wily (Megaman series)

Luigi (Mario Bros. series)
vs
CATS (Zero Wing)

Geno (Super Mario RPG)
vs
Jigglypuff (Pokemon series)

Psycho Mantis (Metal Gear Solid series)
vs
Florina  (Fire Emblem series)

Billy Coen (Resident Evil 0)
vs
Colette (Tales of Symphonia)

Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil series)
vs
Mario (Mario Bros. series)

If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Meta-Knight (Kirby series)
vs
Samus (Metroid series)

Crono (Chrono Trigger)
vs
Iggy Koopa (Mario series)

Captain Olimar (Pikmin seires)
vs
Dr. Robotnick (Sonic the Hedgehog series)

Auron (Final Fantasy X)
vs
Falco (Star Fox series)

Earthworm Jim (Earthworm Jim series)
vs
Link (Legend of Zelda series)

Slippy Toad (Starfox series)
vs
Mileena (Mortal Kombat series)

Vulcan Raven (Metal Gear Solid series)
vs
Vyse (Skies of Arcadia)

Frog (Chrono Trigger)
vs
Earl (Toejam and Earl series)

These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

Zero (Megaman X series)
vs
Edgar Figaro (Final Fantasy VI)

Mega Man (Megaman series)
vs
X (Megaman X series)

Roy (Fire Emblem series)
vs
Lloyd (Tales of Symphonia)

Toejam (Toejam and Earl series)
vs
Erk (Fire Emblem series)

Mewt (Final Fantasy Tactics Advance)
vs
Baraka (Mortal Kombat series)

Ramirez (Skies of Arcadia)
vs
Sub Zero (Mortal Kombat series)

Rock Howard (Garou: Mark of the Wolves)
vs
Olaf the Stout (The Lost Vikings)

Scorpion (Mortal Kombat series)
vs
Donkey Kong (Donkey Kong series)


For those of you that don't know the winners, feel free to make predictions if you wish.

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 1

Diddy Kong vs Albert Wesker


Wesker: A monkey? Is this what I've been reduced to?

Diddy: *stares blankly*

Wesker: I've already gone from being one of the biggest badasses in gaming history to becoming an Agent Smith ripoff.

Diddy: *puts on jetpack*

Wesker: And now Capcom has me fighting monkeys. *sigh*

Diddy: *pulls popguns out from under shirt*

Wesker: Should I even bother? I mean, there's so many ways I could dispatch of this...creature, I don't even know where to...hmm? Where'd he go?

*Wesker looks up*

*Diddy UNLOADS on Wesker with peanuts-Wesker's shades break*

Wesker: EEEEEEEK!!! *runs away sobbing*

Diddy: *rocks out on guitar*

*After a nice jam session, Diddy prepares to leave. He turns around...and K. Rool eats him*

Wesker: Hmm...expected/10

K. Rool: ?

*Wesker empties his Samurai Edge into K. Rool's face*

*Winner: Wesker*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 2

Yoshi vs De Loco


Yoshi: *is way too happy to be there*

De Loco: Why are you smiling?! DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE?!!! AND BURN??!!!! BURNY DIE DIE BURN!!!!!!

Yoshi: *chucks egg and shatters De Loco's happy face helmet* *that's right, it went THROUGH his ship...somehow*

De Loco: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Yoshi: *still grinning like an idiot* Yoshi!!

De Loco: *complete with steam flying from ears* DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! *presses button, flame thrower decends from bottom of Chameleon---that's his ship for those of you without Skies of Arcadia*

Yoshi: Yoshi!!! HHAAAAUUUURRRRRRRRRR!! *jumps over flames...continues to fly higher...flamethrower continues to follow...flamethrower torches Chameleon*

De Loco: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I HAAAAAAAAATE YYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!! YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO BAD ABOUT MYSELF!!!!!!!!!

*Chameleon crashes into the ground in flames. De Loco emerges from the wreckage.*

Yoshi: *hands De Loco a copy of Hybrid Theory*

De Loco: Hmm...this looks interesting. Thanks!

*A week later the NYPD finds De Loco dead in his appartment. Apparently he was trying to find what was crawling in his skin. His wounds never healed.*

*Winner: Yoshi*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 3

Funky Kong vs Angry Sun


Funky: *rides in on floating surfboard* Whoo wee I'm so cool I'm so rad I'm so FUNKAAAAY!!

*Angry Sun flies into Funky*

Funky: OMGWTFBBQ'DFUNKY!!

*Winner: Angry Sun*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 4

Tails vs Lil Mac


Tails: Hello! ^.^

Mac: Uh...hi? You my opponent?

Tails: Yep! ^.^

Mac: Er...are you a girl or something? Cuz I don't fight girls.

Tails: Tee hee! ^.^

Mac: Uh huh...well, sorry, I only fight guys that are at least 19 feet tall, so uh...we ain't fighting.

Rita Repulsa: Let my monster GROOOOWW!

*Staff strikes down in the middle of some desert and Tails gets huge*

Mac: Doc! Help me!

Doc: Join the Nintendo fun club today, Mac!

*Doc hops on bike and rides away*

*Tails steps on Doc*

Mac: Aww crap. Uh...uppercut! *star uppercuts Tails in the face*

Tails: ;_; That hurt, you big meanie.

Blue Meanie: DID SOMEBODY CALL MY NAME?!?!

*Tails swishes away Blue Meanie with his uh...tails*

*At this point in the story, Gnome runs out of ideas and realizes it's really late and he has a big test to study for, but that's ok, because nobody gives a crap about Tails anyway*

*Shadow comes out of nowhere and jumps down Tails' throat. Tails suffocates and Shadow ends up starving because the moron can't find his way out of the throat*

*Winner: Lil Mac*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 5

Kunckles vs Proto Man


Knux: *looks around...blinks*

...

Knux: *looks around some more*

*whistle*

Knux: Ah, finally. (Does Knuckles talk? I don't know. Whatever.) Time for an butt kicking.

Proto Man: Heh. Unfortunately for you it's not my butt that's going to *KNUCKLES FLYING SMASH WITH FIST MOVE TYPE THING'D!!!*

*Proto Man explodes*

Knuckles: *snicker*

*Dark Man emerges from the debris*

Knuckles: ...what the...?

*all of a sudden, Vigoro smashes into the ground*

Vigoro: Nobody snubs the great Vigoro! Random Canon!!

*Vigoro blasts the canon at the same time that Dark Man shoots his barrier. Everybody bursts into flames, gets electrocuted, explodes, dies, etc*

*whistle*

Proto Man: Where is everybody?

*chunks of robot, echidna, and really disgusting square bulge in pants fall from the sky*

Proto Man: Hmm...*absorbs*

PROTO MAN GETS ELEC BARRIER
AND
CLAW FIST
AND
BOX CROTCH!

*Winner: Proto Man*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 6

KOS-MOS vs Naked Raiden


Raiden: So, who's my opponHELLO!

KOS-MOS: ...

Raiden: *sproing* *blushes* Er...hehe. ^_^

KOS-MOS: *vaporizes half of the world that Raiden is standing on*

*Winner: KOS-MOS*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 7

Sonic vs Magus


*Both combatants enter the arena leading their armies of raving fanboys*

Fanboys: SONIC!!!!!11 MAGUS!!!1!1!!1 OMG!!!!!!!!!111!!!1!

Sonic: ...*turns around and dashes through the stomachs of his army*

Magus: Hmm...good idea. *casts some stupid kill everything move that I'm sure the guys has. Fanboys explode*

Magus: Now that they're out of the way, I'll just go back in time and kill you as a baby. It will save me the trouble of dispatching you in your current form.

Sonic: Uh huh. Sure thing, go ahead. *eats a chili dog*

Magus: *Begins to teleport. Sonic beans him in the face with another chili dog*

Magus: OMGNO!

*Magus goes back in time and is stuck inside the chili dog*

Baby Sonic: *eats chili dog*

Sonic: Heh. Moron.

Baby Sonic: *dies from food poisoning*

Sonic: URK! I have slain me! *is erased from history*

*Winner: Me*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 8

Zelda vs Pikachu


Pikachu: PIKA!!! *Pikachu uses thunder. Zelda explodes into little pieces.*

*Winner: Pikachu*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 9

Hard Man vs Kain Highwind


Hard Man: RARGH! *jumps*

Kain: RARGH!! *jumps*

Hard Man: *Hits pause button. Hangs in air*

Kain: *lands*

Hard Man: *Unpauses. Crushes Kain*

*Winner:Hard Man*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 10

Galcian vs Gilder


Gilder: *Busy making out with various women because he's such a stud*

Galcian: *Jumps really really high and prepares to attack*

Gilder: *Calls Claudia who rams into Galcian then lights him up with canon fire until there's nothing left of him*

*Winner: Gilder*

And to think, that was harder than his actual fight. >_>

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 11

DQV Hero vs Dr. Wily


Wily: Mwahahahaha. What can a mere human do against my legions of robots? I'll tell you what he can do! He can die!! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!

DQV Hero: ...*rips all of Wily's robots to pieces instantly*

Wily: Oh? Well you'll never defeat my robot masters! They will destroy you!!

DQV Hero: *goes on a quest to save the world from the robot masters...gets stuck at the platforms in Guts Man's level*...*blows up Guts Man's level*...*blows up everything else with it because he's just that awesome*

Wily: That's it! Now you die!! *hops in saucer and sporatically dissapears and reappears while throwing balls of whatever the balls he throws are made of*

DQV Hero: ...*deflects balls and explodes Wily's saucer*

Wily: NNNOOOOOO!!! *head pops off and bounces around on a spring*

DQV Hero: ...?

*a giant ball on a chain comes down and smashes DQV Hero*

*Winner: Mr. X!!!!!*

For those of you who don't know Mr. X

(really old spoilers)

Mr. X is just Dr. Wily from Mega Man 6

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 12

Luigi vs CATS


Luigi: Mamamia!

CATS: Hello gentlemen.

Luigi: M-m-m-m-mario?

CATS: Someone set up you the bomb.

Luigi: Hoo! Haa! Wahaa!!

CATS: Er...;>_> You are on the way to destruction. Take off every zig.

Luigi: *Green missle through zig. Zig are exploded.* I'ma Luigi! Number one!

CATS: In AD 2101, war will begin you!

Ash: Wowee jeepers! A wild CATS! Go, Pokeball!! *Ash catches CATS*

Luigi: *Pulls Pokeball out of his neverending overall stash and hurls it into a tree. Nothing comes out.*

Ash: Good golly, mister, there was nothing in that ball! Why would you want to waste such a perfectly good *WHAM!!*

*Wreckage from zig stuck in tree collapses and smashes Ash and all his belongings*

*Winner: Luigi*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 13

Geno vs Jigglypuff


Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff! Jigglypuff!

*Geno remains silent, calmly loading his fingers*

Jigglypuff: Jiggly! Jigglypuff!

*Geno points hands at Jiggly*

*Jiggly falls asleep*

*Geno opens fire, ripping Jigglypuff into 3 pieces*

Geno: Not worth my time

*Suddenly the scattered pieces of Jigglypuff reanimate and sprout into 3 Jigglypuffs*

*Geno morphs into a canon and opens fire, sending Puff chunks everywhere. Eventually there is a hoard of Jigglypuffs. Geno uses the power of the sun itself to burn all the Jigglypuffs to ashes, but even that doesn't work. The Puffs just keep multiplying. Seemingly nothing will stop them. Then...when all hope seems lost...Geno summons Bahamut! Bahamut goes berserk and destroyes all the Jigglypuffs and seals their remains in the gap between dimensions! At this point in time Geno wakes up to find himself tied to a concrete block at the bottom of a lake.*

Geno: ****ing singing marshmallow monsters.

*Winner: Army of Jigglypuffs*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 14

Psycho Mantis vs Florina


Mantis: Helllllo little girl.

Florina: Um...please...no...hi...help me.

Mantis: Time to read you memory card, hehehe.

DIRTY THOUGHTS DIRTY THOUGHTS

*after many Ahh's Nngh's and oh noes*

Mantis: That was fun. I suppose I should be killing you now.

Florina: CONTROL TO SOCKET 4!!

Mantis: Huh?

*Florina stabs Mantis in the face with lance*

*Winner: Florina*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 15

*Billy Coen vs Colette*


Colette: Hmm...I hope my opponent isn't big and mean. Oh what a pretty flower!

Billy: RUUUUUN!!

Colette: Huh?

*Colette is ripped apart by a flock of zombie crows*

*Winner: Billy*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 16

*Leon Kennedy vs Mario*

Leon: You're not cut out for this kind of thing.

Mario: It's-a-me! Mario!

*Leon pulls out Blacktail*

Mario: Hmm...*hurls a coin at Leon and runs*

*doink*

Leon: Ah! Mother ****er! *Opens fire*

*Mario dodges the bullets and the chase begins!*

Mario: UWAHUWAHUWAH! *sprints through the Mushroom Kingdom*

Leon: Man, for being such a fatass he's pretty *hurdles Goomba* fast. This should slow him down a bit. *whips out Mine Thrower and fires...right into Toad.*

Toad: Hey! *BABOOOOM!*

*Toad chunks rain from the sky*

*Mario jumps up on top of some blocks and starts chucking fire balls*

Leon: This isn't some boyscout bonfire! *avoids the fireballs with ease*

*Mario grabs a star*

Leon: What the hell?

*Mario starts pummeling Leon*

Leon: Ah! Dammit! *Runs away*

*With Mario in pursuit, Leon dashes into a cabin and barricades the door*

Leon: Man. What is that? *Hears motor start up* ****! Chainsaw! *Mario just PLOWS through Dr. Salvatore and takes the 10,000 pesetas*

Leon: Oh butt. *Runs up to the top floor and jumps out of a window onto the roof. He hops down and sprints through the forest. Eventually he comes to a lake. Mario is nowhere in sight, so he rests for a bit.* Man, does that thing ever run out?

*In the mean time, the star has run out*

Mario: *Walks back to the Mushroom Kingdom. He sees the Toad fragments* Hmm...

Leon: *Gasping for breath* Man, I'm glad I lost him for now. I need to think of a strategy. *Looks out to the lake. He sees the Daisy Cruiser drifting in the calm water OMG DEL LAGO EATS DAISY CRUISER AND EVERYBODY ON BOARD!!* Ok, don't go to the lake. Got it. *Out of nowhere Luis Sera appears*

Luis: YOU GOT A SMOKE?!

Leon: Jesus Christ!! *Runs Luis through with Salazar's right hand*

*Luis collapses*

Leon: Louis? LOUIIIIIIIS!!!

Luis: It's...Luis...you stupid American. *dies*

Leon: I smell tacos! *Dashes to nearest cabin only to see...*

Chief Mendez: You have the same blood as us. I will let you live, for now.

Toad: Okay! *Punches a hole through Mendez's stomach and jumps on him until he's just a puddle of Spanish tyrant type guy*

Leon: Since when was Toad that strong? And since when was Toad that not dead?

*Toad starts walking towards Leon, but gets his head caught on a coat hook. Toad's head falls off to reveal Mario underneath*

Leon: Mario? Why the HELL were you wearing Toad?

Mario: <_< >_> KURIBO'S SHOE ATTACK!!

Leon: ****! *Runs away again*

*After 10 minutes of another chase, Mario collapses from exhaustion...after all, it's not easy chasing somebody in that damn potato sack of a shoe*

Leon: Mario. YOU'RE small time. *Takes out Broken Butterfly and pumps Mario full of lead, only to find out it was Wario in a red costume* ...dammit.

Mario: *from behind* UNCLEAN! *Blasts Leon with FLUDD*

Leon: Arg my eye! You shot me in the eye! *runs away yet again*

*Chase scene again! Hooray!

*Mario chases Leon into an unknown world with pimps and drug dealers.*

Mario: *Spots a sign that says Luigi's* Luigi! *Enters*

Luigi: Hey fatass! You the new recruit? Good. There's some Triad scum up in Chinatown talkin smack about the way I do buisness. They run a fish market. I want you to jack one of their fish trucks and go to 8Ball's. Get a bomb put in the truck and bring it back to their market. They'll never know what hit 'em.

Mario: Luigi?

Luigi: Move it **** for brains!

*Mario runs out of Luigi's just as Chopper Mike blows it to oblivion. Yeah, he followed them.*

Leon: *sees van shaking and decides to investigate* Krauser! And...Ashley?!

Krauser: Hey man, your stupid butt blew it. I had to take advantage of the situation. *El Gigante steps on van*

Leon: Crap crap crap! *Runs from El Gigante...and right into Mario* Could this get any worse?

*Daisy bursts onto the scene*

Daisy: Hi I'm Daisy!

Leon: Just did. -_-

*Del Lago breaks through a building and swallows Daisy whole, then turns around and walks away*

Everyone: Hooray! *El Gigante punches Chopper Mike who plummets onto Mario. Explosions ensue*

Leon: Hey! It's that dog! *the dog distracts El Gigante and Leon blasts it in the face with a rocket*

*Winner: Leon Kennedy*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 17

*Meta Knight vs Samus*


*Samus charges up beam*

*Meta Knight throws off cloak*

*Samus blasts giant shot*

*Meta Knight eats the blast*

*Winner: Samus*

What? Meta Knight's cool, but he can't eat a ****ing ball of pure destructive energy.

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 18

*Crono vs Iggy Koopa*


Iggy: Hey nani nani hoo nani nani hee nani nani HAHA!! *spins around*

Crono: ...

Iggy: HONK HONK CHOO CHOO TRUCK COMING THROUGH!! *dashes at Crono*

Crono: ...*swings sword*

Iggy: *jumps out of the way* AAAHH!! The pickle is in my eye! THE PICKLE IS IN MY EYE!!! *dives inside shell and prepares for an attack*

Crono: ...

Iggy: FEEL MY CREAMY PANDA!! *flings shell at Crono*

Crono: Foolish turtle...now you will m-AHLEAAAYAHALEEEALAHAAYYYEEEE!!

JR: Bah Gawd! Crono was about to say something! This is uncalled for! Hassan has gone too far!

Crono: ...??

*Iggy smashes into Crono, blowing him to bits and taking his sword*

Iggy: A dash of milk and a drop of femur makes the pirates come out to play!! AAAHAHAHAHA!!

*Winner: Iggy Koopa*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 19

*Captain Olimar vs Dr. Robotnick*


Robotnick: Hehehe. With that pesky hedgehog out of the way, I will be free to rule the world! THE WORLD!!

*Trumpets blare as dry ice fills the arena. Olimar comes exploding through the floor*

Olimar: Not if I, CAPTain Olimar, have anything to say about it!

Robotnick:...and how, exactly, do you plan to stop me?

Olimar: With these! Pikmin, attack!!

Robotnick: What the? What in the devil are those?

*The yellow Pikmin take to the air and prepare to bomb the crap out of Robotnick*

Robotnick: Annoying pests! You're about to be burned to a crisp! *Hops into saucer and presses a button. A flamethrower emerges from a hatch in the bottom.*

*The red Pikmin block the inferno and give an opening for the blue Pikmin to go bite Robotnick's ankles or something, because without water the blue ones suck.*

Robotnick: AAAHH!! If I can't take you down I'll force you to join me! *Presses another button and a vacc-u-suck with a robo transmutator attachment replaces the flame thrower.* You aren't harmless forest birds and bunnies, but you'll do just fine! *Sucks up all the Pikmin and traps them inside various robot bodies* Attack!!

Olimar: You trapped my slaves! Prepare to be vanquished! *Grabs a few rings and starts doing forward rolls directly at Robotnick's new army*

*Olimar proceeds to take out about 2/3 of Robotnick's army, since they explode when they get within 10 feet of a round thing holding rings, but suddenly HIDDEN SPIKE TRAP IN THE FLOOR! OLIMAR LOSES ALL RINGS!*

Robotnick: Foolish uh...what exactly are you anyway? Oh, it doesn't matter! *Smashes Olimar with a wrecking ball*

*Winner: Dr. Robotnick*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 20

*Auron vs Falco*

*Falco dashes at Auron. Auron sidesteps. Falco falls like a brick off the edge of a cliff.*

Hooray for Falco's ridiculously high suicide count!

*Winner: Auron*


There, now after all this time I can post some new ones later. ~_~

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 21

*Earthworm Jim vs Link*


*Link unsheathes sword and hoists shield*

Jim: Groovy!

*Link cracks neck and shuffles feet*

Jim: Groovy!

*Link chops Jim's slime ball pet in half*

Jim: Groovy!

Navi: LISTEN!!

Link: ?

*Jim takes advantage of Navi's shriek and opens fire*

Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Navi: LOOK! LISTEN! HEY!

Link: KEEEEYAAAAAHHHHH! *chops Navi in half*

Jim: Groovy! *continues to pound Link with bullets*

Link: *drinks milk and casts Nayru's Love*

Jim: Groovy! *the shooting continues, but now has no effect*

Link: You don't do much, do you? Well, you're a worm, after all. It's to be expected. Er...I mean...SHEEEHAAAAA!!! *cuts Jim's suit to bitty pieces*

Jim: Groovy!

*Link steps on Jim, squishing him into the ground*

Link: Well that was easy. Silly simpleton shouldn't have tried to take me down. Oh, I do love a good alliteration now and then.

*Winner:Link*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 22

*Slippy Toad vs Mileena*


Mileena: *freakish yet really hot laugh*

Slippy: > _ >  < _ < OMG FOX HELP ME!!

Mileena: *spits bucket of nails at Slippy*

*Slippy's ship bursts into flames*

Slippy: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *ejects*

*Mileena teleports behind Slippy and takes the veil off from over her mouth. Slippy slowly turns around and pisses himself for the fourth time today. Mileena rears her head back and CHOMP! Mileena's decapitated body crumples to the ground.*

Slippy: Oh man, thanks Pac Man!

Pac Man: Wakka wakka! *CHOMP*

Slippy: OH GOD MY ARM! *CHOMP* OH GOD MY LEG! *CHOMP* OH GOD MY FACE! Wait a sec...*dead*

*Winner: Pac Man*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 23

*Vulcan Raven vs Vyse*


Raven: Where is my opponent? I had planned for a glorious battle. Has the coward decided to forefit?

Tournament worker: Erm...Mr. Raven, we just got word that in a drunken stupor Vyse ate a Chom last night. He's been too sick to come today, so we're declaring you the winner!

Raven: Hmm...very well. I shall accept my victory. I am one step closer to being declared the greatest fighter of all time. *PIRATE'S WRATH!!*

*Raven explodes*

Vyse: >_> What?

*Winner: Vyse*