Author Topic: The OFFICAL Chuck Norris Thread!! (Read 3796 times)

Spidermew · « **Reply #50 on:** March 11, 2010, 09:57:50 PM »

Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #51 on:** March 12, 2010, 12:55:48 PM »

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Spidermew · « **Reply #52 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:00:19 PM »

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #53 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:01:46 PM »

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Spidermew · « **Reply #54 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:03:34 PM »

In an interview for the LA Times, Chuck Norris was asked what he thought about all the Chuck Norris Jokes circulating around. He simply replied that they weren't jokes then went back to his daily routine of drinking a mug of nails

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #55 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:09:33 PM »

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Spidermew · « **Reply #56 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:17:30 PM »

Math was invted by Chuck Norris as a way to keep track of his body count.

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #57 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:19:28 PM »

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Ununsed-Username · « **Reply #58 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:20:31 PM »

His own invention was then incorporated into a program called "MUGEN" so he could be defeated by characters such as "Toaster King", "Omega Rainbow Fish" and Bruce Lee.

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #59 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:22:36 PM »

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Spidermew · « **Reply #60 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:26:33 PM »

Chuck Norris sez:

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #61 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:27:27 PM »

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Ununsed-Username · « **Reply #62 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:28:26 PM »

Quote from: DARKTALBAIN on March 12, 2010, 01:22:36 PM

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Actually, I've learned that "goes killing" could mean failure, so he doesn't "go killing", he kills.

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #63 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:32:49 PM »

When Chuck Norris played golf, Chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, I'm Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways.

Spidermew · « **Reply #64 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:37:35 PM »

If Chuck Norris opend a resturant, he'd serve Roudhouse Kick to the Face Steak. He just kicks the cow in the face and it explodes into the steak, which comes fully cooked to Chuck Norris's liking.

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #65 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:40:49 PM »

Chuck Norris is what " Willis " was talking about

Spidermew · « **Reply #66 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:44:35 PM »

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #67 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:49:33 PM »

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Spidermew · « **Reply #68 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:51:58 PM »

When chuck norris is bored, he does this to people at random

Ununsed-Username · « **Reply #69 on:** March 12, 2010, 01:52:42 PM »

Quote from: DARKTALBAIN on March 12, 2010, 01:49:33 PM

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

My grandpa did too, well, it was a Whopper entitled "Big Mac", with the word "Whopper" crossed out and "Big Mac" written on it in sharpie, no joke, I promise, he must've scared the daylights out of that employee with his grumpy old-personism.

He was a great old man!

DARKTALBAIN · « **Reply #70 on:** March 12, 2010, 02:00:13 PM »

Quote from: Swayhaven on March 12, 2010, 01:52:42 PM

My grandpa did too, well, it was a Whopper entitled "Big Mac", with the word "Whopper" crossed out and "Big Mac" written on it in sharpie, no joke, I promise, he must've scared the daylights out of that employee with his grumpy old-personism.
He was a great old man!

red Ronin's Granpa is Chuck Norris? Naw..... couldn't be

Anyway......

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

Spidermew · « **Reply #71 on:** March 12, 2010, 02:02:33 PM »

Chuck Norris went back in time, and became both his own Grandfather and Father.

Ununsed-Username · « **Reply #72 on:** March 12, 2010, 02:09:14 PM »

Quote from: SpiderMew on March 12, 2010, 02:02:33 PM

Chuck Norris went back in time, and became both his own Grandfather and Father.

Dude, that's messed up, he did his Mom and His Grandma?!

Spidermew · « **Reply #73 on:** March 12, 2010, 02:10:47 PM »

Chuck Norris is also his own Mom and Grandmother, he did this to make sure he would come out pure 100% Chuck Norris Approved, Chuck Norris.

yugo05 · « **Reply #74 on:** March 12, 2010, 02:21:00 PM »

(forgive me if I don't speak english very well)

Master Yoda died when he called Chuck Norris "Norris Chuck"

God said "You shall not kill". Chuck norris answered "You wanna bet ?"

The American decided to launch a A-bomb on Hiroshima instead of sending Chuck Norris. It's more human.

The Happy tree friends are Chuck Norris's pets.

When Michael jackson met Chuck Norris, he became white.

When Chuck Norris uses Windows, it never crashes.

Chuck norris is the only one who voted for Barack Obama.

Nicolas Sarkozy (The french president) tried to enrole chuck norris as a bodyguard. But Chuck Norris answered "I don't protect the children"

News:

Author Topic: The OFFICAL Chuck Norris Thread!! (Read 3796 times)

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