Infinity MUGEN Team

IMT Discussions => General Discussion => Topic started by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:35:54 PM

Title: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:35:54 PM
Here we go again.....again...

Years ago a friend of mine on GameFAQ's made this CRAZY writing project based on all these various video game characters. I've decided to post this writing project here.

You'll need vast knowledge of video game series to understand everything.

Do you know of Resident Evil?
Donkey Kong Country?
Fire Emblem?
Final Fantasy?
Mortal Kombat?
Chrono Trigger?


If you can understand at least most of those you should enjoy this tournament.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:36:28 PM
I will be posting this Tournament just as Super Saiyan Gnome posted it with a few minor tweaks which he is ok with., so at times there will be speaking in the third person but I don't mean myself.

Here is how the tourney bracket is set up and who faces who in the first round.

The Divisions will be bolded!


There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Diddy Kong (Donkey Kong Country series)
vs
Albert Wesker (Resident Evil series)

Yoshi (Yoshi series)
vs
De Loco (Skies of Arcadia)

Funky Kong (Donkey Kong Country series)
vs
Angry Sun (Super Mario Bros. 3)

Tails (Sonic the Hedgehog series)
vs
Lil Mac (Punch Out)

Knuckles (Sonic the Hedgehog series)
vs
Proto Man (Megaman Series)

KOSMOS (Xenosaga series)
vs
Naked Raiden (Metal Gear Solid series)

Sonic (Sonic the Hedgehog series)
vs
Magus (Chrono Trigger)

Zelda (Legend of Zelda series)
vs
Pikachu (Pokemon series)

I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Hard Man (Megaman 3)
vs
Kain Highwind (Final Fantasy IV)

Galcian (Skies of Arcadia)
vs
Gilder (Skies of Arcadia)

DQV Hero (Dragon Quest 5)
vs
Dr. Wily (Megaman series)

Luigi (Mario Bros. series)
vs
CATS (Zero Wing)

Geno (Super Mario RPG)
vs
Jigglypuff (Pokemon series)

Psycho Mantis (Metal Gear Solid series)
vs
Florina  (Fire Emblem series)

Billy Coen (Resident Evil 0)
vs
Colette (Tales of Symphonia)

Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil series)
vs
Mario (Mario Bros. series)

If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Meta-Knight (Kirby series)
vs
Samus (Metroid series)

Crono (Chrono Trigger)
vs
Iggy Koopa (Mario series)

Captain Olimar (Pikmin seires)
vs
Dr. Robotnick (Sonic the Hedgehog series)

Auron (Final Fantasy X)
vs
Falco (Star Fox series)

Earthworm Jim (Earthworm Jim series)
vs
Link (Legend of Zelda series)

Slippy Toad (Starfox series)
vs
Mileena (Mortal Kombat series)

Vulcan Raven (Metal Gear Solid series)
vs
Vyse (Skies of Arcadia)

Frog (Chrono Trigger)
vs
Earl (Toejam and Earl series)

These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

Zero (Megaman X series)
vs
Edgar Figaro (Final Fantasy VI)

Mega Man (Megaman series)
vs
X (Megaman X series)

Roy (Fire Emblem series)
vs
Lloyd (Tales of Symphonia)

Toejam (Toejam and Earl series)
vs
Erk (Fire Emblem series)

Mewt (Final Fantasy Tactics Advance)
vs
Baraka (Mortal Kombat series)

Ramirez (Skies of Arcadia)
vs
Sub Zero (Mortal Kombat series)

Rock Howard (Garou: Mark of the Wolves)
vs
Olaf the Stout (The Lost Vikings)

Scorpion (Mortal Kombat series)
vs
Donkey Kong (Donkey Kong series)


For those of you that don't know the winners, feel free to make predictions if you wish.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:41:40 PM
MATCH 1

Diddy Kong vs Albert Wesker


Wesker: A monkey? Is this what I've been reduced to?

Diddy: *stares blankly*

Wesker: I've already gone from being one of the biggest badasses in gaming history to becoming an Agent Smith ripoff.

Diddy: *puts on jetpack*

Wesker: And now Capcom has me fighting monkeys. *sigh*

Diddy: *pulls popguns out from under shirt*

Wesker: Should I even bother? I mean, there's so many ways I could dispatch of this...creature, I don't even know where to...hmm? Where'd he go?

*Wesker looks up*

*Diddy UNLOADS on Wesker with peanuts-Wesker's shades break*

Wesker: EEEEEEEK!!! *runs away sobbing*

Diddy: *rocks out on guitar*

*After a nice jam session, Diddy prepares to leave. He turns around...and K. Rool eats him*

Wesker: Hmm...expected/10

K. Rool: ?

*Wesker empties his Samurai Edge into K. Rool's face*

*Winner: Wesker*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:41:52 PM
MATCH 2

Yoshi vs De Loco



Yoshi: *is way too happy to be there*

De Loco: Why are you smiling?! DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE????!!! AND BURN??!!!! BURNY DIE DIE BURN!!!!!!

Yoshi: *chucks egg and shatters De Loco's happy face helmet* *that's right, it went THROUGH his ship...somehow*

De Loco: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Yoshi: *still grinning like an idiot* Yoshi!!

De Loco: *complete with steam flying from ears* DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! *presses button, flame thrower decends from bottom of Chameleon---that's his ship for those of you without Skies of Arcadia*

Yoshi: Yoshi!!! HHAAAAUUUURRRRRRRRRR!! *jumps over flames...continues to fly higher...flamethrower continues to follow...flamethrower torches Chameleon*

De Loco: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I HAAAAAAAAATE YYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!! YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO BAD ABOUT MYSELF!!!!!!!!!

*Chameleon crashes into the ground in flames. De Loco emerges from the wreckage.*

Yoshi: *hands De Loco a copy of Hybrid Theory*

De Loco: Hmm...this looks interesting. Thanks!

*A week later the NYPD finds De Loco dead in his appartment. Apparently he was trying to find what was crawling in his skin. His wounds never healed.*

*Winner: Yoshi*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:42:05 PM
MATCH 3

Funky Kong vs Angry Sun


Funky: *rides in on floating surfboard* Whoo wee I'm so cool I'm so rad I'm so FUNKAAAAY!!

*Angry Sun flies into Funky*

Funky: OMGWTFBBQ'DFUNKY!!

*Winner: Angry Sun*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:42:12 PM
MATCH 4

Tails vs Lil Mac


Tails: Hello! ^.^

Mac: Uh...hi? You my opponent?

Tails: Yep! ^.^

Mac: Er...are you a girl or something? Cuz I don't fight girls.

Tails: Tee hee! ^.^

Mac: Uh huh...well, sorry, I only fight guys that are at least 19 feet tall, so uh...we ain't fighting.

Rita Repulsa: Let my monster GROOOOWW!

*Staff strikes down in the middle of some desert and Tails gets huge*

Mac: Doc! Help me!

Doc: Join the Nintendo fun club today, Mac!

*Doc hops on bike and rides away*

*Tails steps on Doc*

Mac: Aww crap. Uh...uppercut! *star uppercuts Tails in the face*

Tails: ;_; That hurt, you big meanie.

Blue Meanie: DID SOMEBODY CALL MY NAME?!?!

*Tails swishes away Blue Meanie with his uh...tails*

*At this point in the story, Gnome runs out of ideas and realizes it's really late and he has a big test to study for, but that's ok, because nobody gives a crap about Tails anyway*

*Shadow comes out of nowhere and jumps down Tails' throat. Tails suffocates and Shadow ends up starving because the moron can't find his way out of the throat*

*Winner: Lil Mac*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:42:27 PM
MATCH 5

Kunckles vs Proto Man


Knux: *looks around...blinks*

...

Knux: *looks around some more*

*whistle*

Knux: Ah, finally. (Does Knuckles talk? I don't know. Whatever.) Time for an butt kicking.

Proto Man: Heh. Unfortunately for you it's not my butt that's going to *KNUCKLES FLYING SMASH WITH FIST MOVE TYPE THING'D!!!*

*Proto Man explodes*

Knuckles: *snicker*

*Dark Man emerges from the debris*

Knuckles: ...what the...?

*all of a sudden, Vigoro smashes into the ground*

Vigoro: Nobody snubs the great Vigoro! Random Canon!!

*Vigoro blasts the canon at the same time that Dark Man shoots his barrier. Everybody bursts into flames, gets electrocuted, explodes, dies, etc*

*whistle*

Proto Man: Where is everybody?

*chunks of robot, echidna, and really disgusting square bulge in pants fall from the sky*

Proto Man: Hmm...*absorbs*

PROTO MAN GETS ELEC BARRIER
AND
CLAW FIST
AND
BOX CROTCH!

*Winner: Proto Man*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:42:37 PM
MATCH 6

KOS-MOS vs Naked Raiden


Raiden: So, who's my opponHELLO!

KOS-MOS: ...

Raiden: *sproing* *blushes* Er...hehe. ^_^

KOS-MOS: *vaporizes half of the world that Raiden is standing on*

*Winner: KOS-MOS*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:42:48 PM
MATCH 7

Sonic vs Magus


*Both combatants enter the arena leading their armies of raving fanboys*

Fanboys: SONIC!!!!!11 MAGUS!!!1!1!!1 OMG!!!!!!!!!111!!!1!

Sonic: ...*turns around and dashes through the stomachs of his army*

Magus: Hmm...good idea. *casts some stupid kill everything move that I'm sure the guys has. Fanboys explode*

Magus: Now that they're out of the way, I'll just go back in time and kill you as a baby. It will save me the trouble of dispatching you in your current form.

Sonic: Uh huh. Sure thing, go ahead. *eats a chili dog*

Magus: *Begins to teleport. Sonic beans him in the face with another chili dog*

Magus: OMGNO!

*Magus goes back in time and is stuck inside the chili dog*

Baby Sonic: *eats chili dog*

Sonic: Heh. Moron.

Baby Sonic: *dies from food poisoning*

Sonic:
URK! I have slain me! *is erased from history*

*Winner: Me*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 10, 2007, 10:42:58 PM
MATCH 8

Zelda vs Pikachu


Pikachu: PIKA!!! *Pikachu uses thunder. Zelda explodes into little pieces.*

*Winner: Pikachu*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:25:20 AM
MATCH 9

Hard Man vs Kain Highwind


Hard Man: RARGH! *jumps*

Kain: RARGH!! *jumps*

Hard Man: *Hits pause button. Hangs in air*

Kain: *lands*

Hard Man: *Unpauses. Crushes Kain*

*Winner:Hard Man*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:25:31 AM
MATCH 10

Galcian vs Gilder


Gilder: *Busy making out with various women because he's such a stud*

Galcian: *Jumps really really high and prepares to attack*

Gilder: *Calls Claudia who rams into Galcian then lights him up with canon fire until there's nothing left of him*

*Winner: Gilder*

And to think, that was harder than his actual fight. >_>
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:25:42 AM
MATCH 11

DQV Hero vs Dr. Wily


Wily: Mwahahahaha. What can a mere human do against my legions of robots? I'll tell you what he can do! He can die!! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!

DQV Hero: ...*rips all of Wily's robots to pieces instantly*

Wily: Oh? Well you'll never defeat my robot masters! They will destroy you!!

DQV Hero: *goes on a quest to save the world from the robot masters...gets stuck at the platforms in Guts Man's level*...*blows up Guts Man's level*...*blows up everything else with it because he's just that awesome*

Wily: That's it! Now you die!! *hops in saucer and sporatically dissapears and reappears while throwing balls of whatever the balls he throws are made of*

DQV Hero: ...*deflects balls and explodes Wily's saucer*

Wily: NNNOOOOOO!!! *head pops off and bounces around on a spring*

DQV Hero: ...?

*a giant ball on a chain comes down and smashes DQV Hero*

*Winner: Mr. X!!!!!*

For those of you who don't know Mr. X

(really old spoilers)

Mr. X is just Dr. Wily from Mega Man 6
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:25:55 AM
MATCH 12

Luigi vs CATS


Luigi: Mamamia!

CATS: Hello gentlemen.

Luigi: M-m-m-m-mario?

CATS: Someone set up you the bomb.

Luigi: Hoo! Haa! Wahaa!!

CATS: Er...;>_> You are on the way to destruction. Take off every zig.

Luigi: *Green missle through zig. Zig are exploded.* I'ma Luigi! Number one!

CATS: In AD 2101, war will begin you!

Ash: Wowee jeepers! A wild CATS! Go, Pokeball!! *Ash catches CATS*

Luigi: *Pulls Pokeball out of his neverending overall stash and hurls it into a tree. Nothing comes out.*

Ash: Good golly, mister, there was nothing in that ball! Why would you want to waste such a perfectly good *WHAM!!*

*Wreckage from zig stuck in tree collapses and smashes Ash and all his belongings*

*Winner: Luigi*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:26:10 AM
MATCH 13

Geno vs Jigglypuff


Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff! Jigglypuff!

*Geno remains silent, calmly loading his fingers*

Jigglypuff: Jiggly! Jigglypuff!

*Geno points hands at Jiggly*

*Jiggly falls asleep*

*Geno opens fire, ripping Jigglypuff into 3 pieces*

Geno: Not worth my time

*Suddenly the scattered pieces of Jigglypuff reanimate and sprout into 3 Jigglypuffs*

*Geno morphs into a canon and opens fire, sending Puff chunks everywhere. Eventually there is a hoard of Jigglypuffs. Geno uses the power of the sun itself to burn all the Jigglypuffs to ashes, but even that doesn't work. The Puffs just keep multiplying. Seemingly nothing will stop them. Then...when all hope seems lost...Geno summons Bahamut! Bahamut goes berserk and destroyes all the Jigglypuffs and seals their remains in the gap between dimensions! At this point in time Geno wakes up to find himself tied to a concrete block at the bottom of a lake.*

Geno: ****ing singing marshmallow monsters.

*Winner: Army of Jigglypuffs*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:26:20 AM
MATCH 14

Psycho Mantis vs Florina


Mantis: Helllllo little girl.

Florina: Um...please...no...hi...help me.

Mantis: Time to read you memory card, hehehe.

DIRTY THOUGHTS DIRTY THOUGHTS

*after many Ahh's Nngh's and oh noes*

Mantis: That was fun. I suppose I should be killing you now.

Florina: CONTROL TO SOCKET 4!!

Mantis: Huh?

*Florina stabs Mantis in the face with lance*

*Winner: Florina*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:26:30 AM
MATCH 15

*Billy Coen vs Colette*


Colette: Hmm...I hope my opponent isn't big and mean. Oh what a pretty flower!

Billy: RUUUUUN!!

Colette: Huh?

*Colette is ripped apart by a flock of zombie crows*

*Winner: Billy*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:26:52 AM
MATCH 16

*Leon Kennedy vs Mario*

Leon: You're not cut out for this kind of thing.

Mario: It's-a-me! Mario!

*Leon pulls out Blacktail*

Mario: Hmm...*hurls a coin at Leon and runs*

*doink*

Leon: Ah! Mother ****er! *Opens fire*

*Mario dodges the bullets and the chase begins!*

Mario: UWAHUWAHUWAH! *sprints through the Mushroom Kingdom*

Leon: Man, for being such a fatass he's pretty *hurdles Goomba* fast. This should slow him down a bit. *whips out Mine Thrower and fires...right into Toad.*

Toad: Hey! *BABOOOOM!*

*Toad chunks rain from the sky*

*Mario jumps up on top of some blocks and starts chucking fire balls*

Leon: This isn't some boyscout bonfire! *avoids the fireballs with ease*

*Mario grabs a star*

Leon: What the hell?

*Mario starts pummeling Leon*

Leon: Ah! Dammit! *Runs away*

*With Mario in pursuit, Leon dashes into a cabin and barricades the door*

Leon: Man. What is that? *Hears motor start up* ****! Chainsaw! *Mario just PLOWS through Dr. Salvatore and takes the 10,000 pesetas*

Leon: Oh butt. *Runs up to the top floor and jumps out of a window onto the roof. He hops down and sprints through the forest. Eventually he comes to a lake. Mario is nowhere in sight, so he rests for a bit.* Man, does that thing ever run out?

*In the mean time, the star has run out*

Mario: *Walks back to the Mushroom Kingdom. He sees the Toad fragments* Hmm...

Leon: *Gasping for breath* Man, I'm glad I lost him for now. I need to think of a strategy. *Looks out to the lake. He sees the Daisy Cruiser drifting in the calm water OMG DEL LAGO EATS DAISY CRUISER AND EVERYBODY ON BOARD!!* Ok, don't go to the lake. Got it. *Out of nowhere Luis Sera appears*

Luis: YOU GOT A SMOKE?!

Leon: Jesus Christ!! *Runs Luis through with Salazar's right hand*

*Luis collapses*

Leon: Louis? LOUIIIIIIIS!!!

Luis: It's...Luis...you stupid American. *dies*

Leon: I smell tacos! *Dashes to nearest cabin only to see...*

Chief Mendez: You have the same blood as us. I will let you live, for now.

Toad: Okay! *Punches a hole through Mendez's stomach and jumps on him until he's just a puddle of Spanish tyrant type guy*

Leon: Since when was Toad that strong? And since when was Toad that not dead?

*Toad starts walking towards Leon, but gets his head caught on a coat hook. Toad's head falls off to reveal Mario underneath*

Leon: Mario? Why the HELL were you wearing Toad?

Mario: <_< >_> KURIBO'S SHOE ATTACK!!

Leon: ****! *Runs away again*

*After 10 minutes of another chase, Mario collapses from exhaustion...after all, it's not easy chasing somebody in that damn potato sack of a shoe*

Leon: Mario. YOU'RE small time. *Takes out Broken Butterfly and pumps Mario full of lead, only to find out it was Wario in a red costume* ...dammit.

Mario: *from behind* UNCLEAN! *Blasts Leon with FLUDD*

Leon: Arg my eye! You shot me in the eye! *runs away yet again*

*Chase scene again! Hooray!

*Mario chases Leon into an unknown world with pimps and drug dealers.*

Mario: *Spots a sign that says Luigi's* Luigi! *Enters*

Luigi: Hey fatass! You the new recruit? Good. There's some Triad scum up in Chinatown talkin smack about the way I do buisness. They run a fish market. I want you to jack one of their fish trucks and go to 8Ball's. Get a bomb put in the truck and bring it back to their market. They'll never know what hit 'em.

Mario: Luigi?

Luigi: Move it **** for brains!

*Mario runs out of Luigi's just as Chopper Mike blows it to oblivion. Yeah, he followed them.*

Leon: *sees van shaking and decides to investigate* Krauser! And...Ashley?!

Krauser: Hey man, your stupid butt blew it. I had to take advantage of the situation. *El Gigante steps on van*

Leon: Crap crap crap! *Runs from El Gigante...and right into Mario* Could this get any worse?

*Daisy bursts onto the scene*

Daisy: Hi I'm Daisy!

Leon: Just did. -_-

*Del Lago breaks through a building and swallows Daisy whole, then turns around and walks away*

Everyone: Hooray! *El Gigante punches Chopper Mike who plummets onto Mario. Explosions ensue*

Leon: Hey! It's that dog! *the dog distracts El Gigante and Leon blasts it in the face with a rocket*

*Winner: Leon Kennedy*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:36:42 AM
MATCH 17

*Meta Knight vs Samus*


*Samus charges up beam*

*Meta Knight throws off cloak*

*Samus blasts giant shot*

*Meta Knight eats the blast*

*Winner: Samus*

What? Meta Knight's cool, but he can't eat a ****ing ball of pure destructive energy.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:36:56 AM
MATCH 18

*Crono vs Iggy Koopa*


Iggy: Hey nani nani hoo nani nani hee nani nani HAHA!! *spins around*

Crono: ...

Iggy: HONK HONK CHOO CHOO TRUCK COMING THROUGH!! *dashes at Crono*

Crono: ...*swings sword*

Iggy: *jumps out of the way* AAAHH!! The pickle is in my eye! THE PICKLE IS IN MY EYE!!! *dives inside shell and prepares for an attack*

Crono: ...

Iggy: FEEL MY CREAMY PANDA!! *flings shell at Crono*

Crono: Foolish turtle...now you will m-AHLEAAAYAHALEEEALAHAAYYYEEEE!!

JR: Bah Gawd! Crono was about to say something! This is uncalled for! Hassan has gone too far!

Crono: ...??

*Iggy smashes into Crono, blowing him to bits and taking his sword*

Iggy: A dash of milk and a drop of femur makes the pirates come out to play!! AAAHAHAHAHA!!

*Winner: Iggy Koopa*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:37:09 AM
MATCH 19

*Captain Olimar vs Dr. Robotnick*


Robotnick: Hehehe. With that pesky hedgehog out of the way, I will be free to rule the world! THE WORLD!!

*Trumpets blare as dry ice fills the arena. Olimar comes exploding through the floor*

Olimar: Not if I, CAPTain Olimar, have anything to say about it!

Robotnick:...and how, exactly, do you plan to stop me?

Olimar: With these! Pikmin, attack!!

Robotnick: What the? What in the devil are those?

*The yellow Pikmin take to the air and prepare to bomb the crap out of Robotnick*

Robotnick: Annoying pests! You're about to be burned to a crisp! *Hops into saucer and presses a button. A flamethrower emerges from a hatch in the bottom.*

*The red Pikmin block the inferno and give an opening for the blue Pikmin to go bite Robotnick's ankles or something, because without water the blue ones suck.*

Robotnick: AAAHH!! If I can't take you down I'll force you to join me! *Presses another button and a vacc-u-suck with a robo transmutator attachment replaces the flame thrower.* You aren't harmless forest birds and bunnies, but you'll do just fine! *Sucks up all the Pikmin and traps them inside various robot bodies* Attack!!

Olimar: You trapped my slaves! Prepare to be vanquished! *Grabs a few rings and starts doing forward rolls directly at Robotnick's new army*

*Olimar proceeds to take out about 2/3 of Robotnick's army, since they explode when they get within 10 feet of a round thing holding rings, but suddenly HIDDEN SPIKE TRAP IN THE FLOOR! OLIMAR LOSES ALL RINGS!*

Robotnick: Foolish uh...what exactly are you anyway? Oh, it doesn't matter! *Smashes Olimar with a wrecking ball*

*Winner: Dr. Robotnick*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 04:37:36 AM
MATCH 20

*Auron vs Falco*


*Falco dashes at Auron. Auron sidesteps. Falco falls like a brick off the edge of a cliff.*

Hooray for Falco's ridiculously high suicide count!

*Winner: Auron*


There, now after all this time I can post some new ones later. ~_~
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 07:18:27 PM
MATCH 21

*Earthworm Jim vs Link*


*Link unsheathes sword and hoists shield*

Jim: Groovy!

*Link cracks neck and shuffles feet*

Jim: Groovy!

*Link chops Jim's slime ball pet in half*

Jim: Groovy!

Navi: LISTEN!!

Link: ?

*Jim takes advantage of Navi's shriek and opens fire*

Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Navi: LOOK! LISTEN! HEY!

Link: KEEEEYAAAAAHHHHH! *chops Navi in half*

Jim: Groovy! *continues to pound Link with bullets*

Link: *drinks milk and casts Nayru's Love*

Jim: Groovy! *the shooting continues, but now has no effect*

Link: You don't do much, do you? Well, you're a worm, after all. It's to be expected. Er...I mean...SHEEEHAAAAA!!! *cuts Jim's suit to bitty pieces*

Jim: Groovy!

*Link steps on Jim, squishing him into the ground*

Link: Well that was easy. Silly simpleton shouldn't have tried to take me down. Oh, I do love a good alliteration now and then.

*Winner:Link*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 07:18:35 PM
MATCH 22

*Slippy Toad vs Mileena*


Mileena: *freakish yet really hot laugh*

Slippy: > _ >  < _ < OMG FOX HELP ME!!

Mileena: *spits bucket of nails at Slippy*

*Slippy's ship bursts into flames*

Slippy: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *ejects*

*Mileena teleports behind Slippy and takes the veil off from over her mouth. Slippy slowly turns around and pisses himself for the fourth time today. Mileena rears her head back and CHOMP! Mileena's decapitated body crumples to the ground.*

Slippy: Oh man, thanks Pac Man!

Pac Man: Wakka wakka! *CHOMP*

Slippy: OH GOD MY ARM! *CHOMP* OH GOD MY LEG! *CHOMP* OH GOD MY FACE! Wait a sec...*dead*

*Winner: Pac Man*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 11, 2007, 07:26:20 PM
MATCH 23

*Vulcan Raven vs Vyse*


Raven: Where is my opponent? I had planned for a glorious battle. Has the coward decided to forefit?

Tournament worker: Erm...Mr. Raven, we just got word that in a drunken stupor Vyse ate a Chom last night. He's been too sick to come today, so we're declaring you the winner!

Raven: Hmm...very well. I shall accept my victory. I am one step closer to being declared the greatest fighter of all time. *PIRATE'S WRATH!!*

*Raven explodes*

Vyse: >_> What?

*Winner: Vyse*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 12, 2007, 10:14:04 PM
MATCH 24

*Frog vs Earl*


Frog: Oh ho ho! After I plunder your village and have my way with your wife, I will leave your corpse to rot in the sun as an homage to the mighty Thor!

Earl: I'm not married, and you aren't a viking.

Frog: Gyar. I suggest ye hold your tongue, or Davey Jones's Locker ye be seein'.

Earl: You're not a pirate, either.

Frog: You murdered my parents in cold blood. You shall come to fear my name. I am the vengence. I am the night. I AM

Earl: YOU AREN'T BATMAN!!

Frog: Well then brainiac, if I'm not any of those, what exactly am I?

Earl: You're a samurai who has just tasted defeat at my hands. The only honorable thing to do is kill yourself and save your village the humiliation of a defeated return.

Frog: You are wise beyond your years, Earlsan. *Frog stabs himself in the gut*

*Winner: Earl*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 12, 2007, 10:14:16 PM
MATCH 25

*Zero vs Edgar Figaro*


Zero: With my sabre of justice I will put a stop to the misdoings of mavericks everywhere.

Edgar: That is so ****ing hot. What's your name pretty lady?

Zero: People call me Zero, but I like to call myself The Angelic Death. And I'm a guy.

Edgar: Yeah...sure you are. Hey, you show me your wings and I'll show you mine, how you like them apples?

Zero: Step aside, human. I have buisness to take care of.

Edgar: I like your boob lights. ^_^

Zero: *sigh* For the last time, I'm a guy. Now move before I cut you down.

Edgar: Denying your own gender just to shoot me down. I've been rejected before, but that's just low. Prepare to die! *uses Drill*

Zero: Urg I am dead! *falls apart*

Edgar: Nobody denies their sexuality to avoid the great King of Figaro! > _ > < _ < Hehe. *pulls down pants* What the...holy crap it's a guy!

Zero: I told you so.

Edgar: But...I killed you.

Zero:
Capcom.

Edgar: Oh.

Zero: Die, foolish human!

Edgar: Wait! First rule of robotics says that robots can't kill humans. So now you just have to stand here and wait for me to hack you apart with my Chainsaw Tool.

*about 15 seconds later*

Zero: Well, are you gonna do it or not?

Edgar: Hang on, my bar still hasn't filled up from last time I attacked.

Zero: Huh?

Edgar: Square-Enix.

Zero: Oh.

Edgar: Take this! *puts on hockey mask and attacks with Chainsaw* *MISS* Aww. Son of a *****. Hang on. Stand there just a little longer so I can attack again. I won't miss this time, I promise.

Zero: Nah. I'm gone. Cya. *Walks away*

Edgar: Wait a sec! This battle hasn't ended! Don't leave me here, I can't move until the bar is full! Aww come on! *sigh* Dammit.

Ultros: Hey there. Uncle Ulty's hungry!

Edgar: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Winner: Zero*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 13, 2007, 02:06:04 PM
MATCH 26

*Mega Man vs Mega Man X* *Strange, considering I made the matches at random*


Mega: I'm so happy! I love you! I love everything!

X: Uh...you are a guy, right? You sound like an 8 year old girl.

Mega: I know! That's just the happiness in my heart and butterflies in my brain!

X: That doesn't make much sense, but whatever you say. We gonna fight now?

Mega: Fight? Why would I want to fight? I want to love! I WANT TO DANCE!! *Does Top Spin*

X: *Blasts Mega's head off with a charge shot, then riddles the corpse with Homing Torpedoes, a few Spark Shots, and just for the hell of it, a Rolling Shield* Why did I do that? Was there a better way? Nobody had to die today. I don't want to kill anyone, but isn't that my destiny? There must be some way to rid the world of evil without anybody perishing. Who am I? What is my purpose? How am I any better than what I oppose?

Mega: *Uses E Tank*

X: I'm so confused. All I want is peace, but I must bring it along using war as my means.

Mega: *Uses Time Stopper* X! Why would you try to kill me? All I wanted was a friend, but no. You had to go and flip out on me? I hate you X! Prepare to die! *click* What? Oh, come on. Why would that moron Light give me a time stopper if I can't use any weapons when time is stopped? Arg. *punches X, Mega takes damage* ...Light, when I'm done here, you're next. *Time Stopper runs out*

X: You little bastard. You caught me monologuing. I can assure you, that won't happen again. *Throws Boomerang Cutter*

Mega: Eek! *Throws Rolling Cutter*

X: Hmm...*Uses Fire Wave*

Mega: Not gonna happen! *Counters with Atomic Fire, then attacks with Spark Shot*

X: Tricky little runt. *Counters with Electric Spark*

Mega: Oh yeah? Take this! *Puts up Skull Barrier and blocks Electric Spark*

X: A barrier? You actually use those things? What a loser!

Mega: Oh that's it. *Puts up Leaf Shield*

X: *laughs hysterically*

Mega: *Throws Leaf Shield*

X: *doink* Ah! What the hell??

Mega: DUST CRUSHER!! *pummels X* CENTAUR FLASH! *flashes X*

X: That's just gross.

Mega: WATER WAVE!! *splashes X* CHARGE KICK! *slides into X, but takes damage anyway*

X: Honestly, could your moves get any crappier? Where's the Metal Blades? The Elec Beams? Hell, where's the HADOUKEN!!! *Mega falls into little pieces*

Mega: Not...****ing...fair. *shuts down*

X: Why did I do that? Was it really necessary to kill him again? I'm sure I could have tried talking with him to work out our differences. Why-

Vile: SHUT UP ALREADY! NOBODY CARES!

X: :'(

*Winner: X*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 13, 2007, 02:06:44 PM
MATCH 27

*Roy vs Lloyd Irving*


*Pious Agustus comes in and banishes both of them to the gap between dimensions because they suck butt.*

*Winner: Pious*


(Don't flame me people, I didn't write it. ;_;)
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 13, 2007, 02:06:56 PM
MATCH 28

*Toe Jam vs Erk*


Toe: Yo yo yo what is up Edawg?

Erk: Uh...just the usual...why?

Toe: J dub, G. J dub.

Erk: (Man, this guy's more annoying than Serra. I'll have to put an end to this quickly.) *Casts fire*

Toe: *whap* Ah! What the hizzell was dat? I'ma knock you up fo dat, sukka. *Puts on jet skates and rockets at Erk*

Erk: Heh. *Erk jumps out of the way. Toe Jam goes flying off a cliff.*

Toe: Man, **** that. *Resets. Flies off cliff again.* What the hell??

Erk: Autosave after every turn. Looks like I win. ^_^

Toe: Maaaan. This is some bull****. *splat*

*Winner: Erk*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 14, 2007, 06:46:29 PM
MATCH 29

*Mewt vs Baraka*


Mewt: I WANT MY MOMMY!!

Baraka: BLARGHLEPHOPPER!!! *slashes off Mewt's head*

*Winner: Baraka*

I ****ing hate Mewt.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 14, 2007, 06:46:41 PM
MATCH 30

*Ramirez vs Sub Zero*


Ramirez: Today I avenge my commander. You will feel my pain.

Sub Zero: Heh. The Lin Kuei feels nothing except the crack of our victim's bones in our hands.

Ramirez: Die. *uses Silver Eclipse on Sub Zero* FATALITY!

Ramirez: That was pathetic. Will I ever find an opponent that's worth my time?

Sub Zero: Beg for mercy as you are chilled to the bone! *Deep Freeze*

Ramirez: But...how? How can you be alive?

Sub Zero: I work for Midway. They don't need to explain how we come back.

Ramirez: Oh really. Well then...*ice explodes*

Sub Zero: o_O

Ramirez: I'll just have to destroy Midway, now won't I? Zelos! Destroy! *Zelos blows up Midway's HQ* Now you'll stay dead! Prepare for your end!

*Suddenly Johnny Cage runs in and punches Ramirez in the nuts then decapitates Sub Zero 3 times*

*Winner: Johnny Cage*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 15, 2007, 04:19:02 PM
MATCH 31

*Rock Howard vs Olaf the Stout*


Rock: Do not underestimate the power of the flaming tower.

Olaf: I like donuts.

Rock: That's "do not", not "donut".

Olaf: Do you have donuts?

Rock: What? No. Why do you care?

Olaf: I want donuts!! *smashes shield over Rock's head*

*Terry bursts onto the scene*

Terry: Ah you ok?

Rock: I think so. Tha-BUSTAAA WOOOLF!!! *Rock explodes. Terry gives Olaf a donut and runs away*

Olaf:
Hooray! *munch*

*Winner: Olaf the Stout*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 15, 2007, 04:19:23 PM
MATCH 32

*Scorpion vs Donkey Kong*


Scorpion: *stares*

DK: *blinks*

Scorpion: Welcome!

DK: ...

Scorpion:
To HELL!!! *fire flares up*

DK: OK!

Scorpion: The hunger of the dead will consume your flesh and leave your bones to rot!

DK: COOL!

Scorpion: Get over here! *Throws spear*

DK: OK!

Tiny Kong: Donkey Kong! Look at me! Look at me! Look at MMMMEEEEE!! *Tiny jumps right in front of DK and takes the spear to the face*

DK: O_O...:'(...>_<...Ò_Ó

Scorpion: This is bad, isn't it?

DK: YEAH! *headbutts Scorpion into the ground and winds up*

Scorpion: You may have won this time, but I'll be back. I always come back.

DK: COOL! *punches Scorpion's head off*

*Winner: DK*


And so ends Round 1.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 15, 2007, 04:20:51 PM
And here's the lineup/recap for the spectacular Round 2, brought to you by THE WONDER CHEF!!


There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Albert Wesker unloaded a clip into K. Rool's face while the Kremling King was enjoying a nice snack of Diddy.

De Loco couldn't heal his wounds as Yoshi advances Meteora style.

Angry Sun roasted Funky Kong in a battle that never had a chance to get under way.

Shadow's suicide run gives Little Mac the victory over a giant Tails.

Vigoro? Absorbed. Knuckles? Absorbed. Dark Man? Absorbed. Proto Man advances with a whole lot of new weaponry at his disposal.

KOS-MOS may not be well liked in these parts, but her sheer power was enough to get past the creepy naked guy in Naked Raiden.

In a bizarre turn of events, Super Saiyan Gnome (hey, that's me!) moves on due to both Sonic and Magus indirectly killing each other.

Zelda never stood a chance as Pikachu blew her to pieces before she could respond.


I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Due to the inclusion of the pause button, Hard Man was able to out jump and therefore outlast Kain Highwind.

Gilder, or rather The Claudia, made short work of Galcian and proved once again that in a head on collision between man and air ship, the man usually loses.

Mr. X!!!!! makes a dramatic entrence and obliterates the DQV Hero with his ball and chain mech.

CATS couldn't withstand the powers of the Poke Ball, but Ash couldn't withstand the powers of Zig crushing his face. Luigi cruises to an easy and satisfying victory here.

There’s too many of them! I can’t hold them off much longer, Captain! (calls forth the power of the sun and roasts all enemies) (wakes up) Aww, crap. Geno couldn’t hold them off, as an army of Jigglypuffs rages forth to victory.

CONTROL TO SOCKET 4!! Just about sums this match up. Florina overpowers Psycho Mantis with a lance to the face.

Billy ran. Colette didn’t. The winner? The flock of zombie crows, of course.

It’s the match everyone was waiting for. It was really freaking long. An epic battle took place, and it wasn’t for the faint at heart. It spanned across 3 worlds starting with a dash through the Mushroom Kingdom which leads to a secluded town in a forest and finally concluded on the mean streets of Liberty City. There were 11 fatalities confirmed, but only one mattered. Leon S. Kennedy was able to outlast Mario and advance to round 2.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 15, 2007, 04:21:03 PM
If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Samus takes this battle with ease, as Meta Knight forgets that you can’t eat a giant ball of pure explosive energy.

Iggy Koopa was able to blast apart Crono thanks to interfere-AYAYALALAEYALAYAELEAYALA!!!

After a pointlessly long battle with far too much dialogue, Dr. Robotnik advanced by smashing Captain Olimar with his wrecking ball.

Falco’s insane falling speed is his downfall yet again as he dives off a cliff securing Auron’s victory.

Wait a second…Link talks?? Apparently he does, and we’ll be seeing more of him to come, much to the dismay of Earthworm Jim.

Who would emerge victorious between Mileena and Slippy Toad? CHOMP! Pac Man surprises all and leaves with a victory.

Vyse uses his keen pirate wit to easily dispatch of a potentially dangerous foe in Vulcan Raven.

Earl uses Frog’s sheer stupidity to easily dispatch of Ye Olde virate baturai.


These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

Horny king or he-she robot? Zero advances thanks to some help from Uncle Ulty and turn based combat.

This match had the potential to be ugly, and it was. Mega Man X killed the classic Mega Man not once, but twice in this slugfest of crappy moves.

To take an exact quote from the Roy vs Lloyd Irving match: Pious Agustus comes in and banishes both of them to the gap between dimensions because they suck butt.

Erk gets a victory over Toe Jam due to a misused pair of rocket shoes and the autosave feature.

Baraka cut off Mewt’s head. We all won that battle.

Being the Ramirez fanboy I am, it seemed obvious that he would soundly defeat Sub Zero. Little did anybody know that the real victor lied in the one, the only, Johnny Cage!

Olaf the Stout got to enjoy a work free victory as well as a donut. Terry Bogard got to enjoy a complete mopping of Rock Howard. Rock got to enjoy a BUSTAAA WOOOLF to the face.

Victory seemed certain for Scorpion until Tiny Kong jumped into his spear. After that it was all Donkey Kong. Scorpion’s still looking for his head somewhere in the Netherrealm.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 15, 2007, 04:21:16 PM
ROUND 2!

There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Albert Wesker vs Yoshi
Angry Sun vs Little Mac
Proto Man vs KOS-MOS
Super Saiyan Gnome vs Pikachu


I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Hard Man vs Gilder
Mr. X!!!!! vs Luigi
An army of Jigglypuffs vs Florina
Billy Coen vs Leon Kennedy


If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Samus vs Iggy Koopa
Dr. Robotnik vs Auron
Link vs Pac Man
Vyse vs Earl


These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

Zero vs Mega Man X
Pious Agustus vs Erk
Baraka vs Johnny Cage
Olaf the Stout vs Donkey Kong


I will be starting Round 2 tomorrow.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 16, 2007, 04:53:31 PM
Now..........Round 2!

MATCH 33

*Albert Wesker vs Yoshi*


Yoshi: YOSHI!!!

Wesker: *sigh* must I be subjected to face off against another pitiful reptile?

*Yoshi eats Wesker and poops him out in an egg then taunts. Rumbling is heard, and suddenly, a legion of Yoshis appears on the hillside.*

Wesker: *breaks out* You wretched beast! I'll send you back to the stone age in crates!

*The rumbling grows stronger*

Wesker: *glances at the hillside* ...very well. I'll just have to take you all out. *runs to a mansion and the Yoshis follow. Wesker slams the door shut with all the Yoshis trapped inside the mansion* Hmm...we shall see how you deal with a little something I like to call the T-Virus. *smirk*

Strange voice: UUAAAAGHHHH!! RUUUUUN!!

*Wesker sees Chris and company running from what appears to be zombie dogs*

Chris: Quick! In that mansion!

Wesker: Chris! Don't open...that...door!

*Chris opens the door and all the Yoshis come barreling out*

Chris: UUAAAAGHHHH!! RUN AGAIN!!

Barry: No way. This isn't anything me and my friend can take care of. *Pats gun*

Jill: All I brought with me was a hunting knife and a beret. What ever will I use to defend myself?

Barry: Here. This can of fizz is sure to mellow and yellow those things.

Jill: Barry, you ****ing moron, I don't have a grenade launcher.

*Meanwhile*

Forrest: I ****ING HATE CROWS!! *YOSHI ASSPLANT!*

Barry: You were almost a Jill sandwich.

Jill: ...Barry, that wasn't even close to me.

Barry: *Pats gun*

Richard: Wait, why am I here? Why was Forrest here? Where is here? Why do I have this strange feeling of dread? *out of nowhere a giant snake eats Richard, a giant shark eats the snake, and a pink Yoshi eats the shark. The Yoshi then bursts into flames and a 767 crash lands on it*

Wesker: >_> <_< CHRISTHISWAY!

Chris: ...Huh?

Wesker: Sorry. I felt...compeled to say that. *YOSHI EAT* CHRIS!! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!! I was supposed to kill you in a super slow, overly dramatic fashion! *YOSHI EGG ROLL* ****ing dinosaur. *"dies"*

Kenneth: Hmm...*throws mine at Yoshi mob* *A Yoshi rain ensues* Score one for the black man!

Barry: *Pats gun-gun goes off*

Jill: What the hell was that?!

Barry: I think I just shot Kenny in the face!

*Wesker calmly gets up and saunters off*

Jill: Hey...where'd Wesker go?

Barry: Did you check the can of fizz? I'm sure you, the master of unlocking, could manage to find him if he were to crawl inside.

Jill: Barry...I hate you.

Barry: *Pats gun*

*Winners: Jill and Barry*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 16, 2007, 04:53:52 PM
MATCH 34

*Angry Sun vs Little Mac*


Little Mac: >_> <_<...>_>

Angry Sun: I AM THE ANGRY SUN! GRAHRL!!

Little Mac: Doc, how do I beat him?

Doc: Join the Nintendo Fun Cl*Mac uppercuts Doc in the face*

Angry Sun: RARRGH!

*Suddenly Angry Moon comes down and eats Angry Sun*

Angry Moon: 3 days...*flies away*

Little Mac: o_O

*Winner: Little Mac*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 17, 2007, 12:50:26 PM
MATCH 35

*Proto Man vs KOS-MOS*


*whistle*

Proto Man: Hahaha. 3 powers for doing nothing. It doesn't get any better than that.

KOS-MOS: o_o Hello.

Proto Man: Just got better.

KOS-MOS: o_o

Proto Man: So what do you say we spin some gears, hmm? *equips box crotch*

KOS-MOS: o_o *aims rocket launcher*

Proto Man: So I guess that's a no?

*suddenly Naked Raiden emerges from the debris and pounces on KOS-MOS*

Raiden: I love you, killer robot lady!

KOS-MOS: o_o

*This next scene is far too graphic, so I leave you with the crazy escapades of Magical Trevor. His tricks are ever so clever.*
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor/ (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor/)

KOS-MOS: o_O *head explodes*

Proto Man: Dude, you're naked.

Raiden: I know.

Proto Man: And you just-

Raiden: Yeah.

Proto Man: With a robot.

Raiden: I do that sometimes.

Proto Man: That's really gross, man.

Raiden: Well a man's gotta do what a man's gotta *CLAW FIST!*

*Raiden's body drops to the floor.*

PROTO MAN GETS
NUDITY!
AND
The Jug Factor!

Proto Man: I'm not sure I want to have these powers...

*Winner: Proto Man*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 17, 2007, 12:50:44 PM
MATCH 36

*Super Saiyan Gnome vs Pikachu*


Pikachu: Pika! Pikachu! Pika!

Super Saiyan Gnome: What's that? How can I be in my own contest? I'm the author, silly! I do what I want!

Pikachu: PIKA!! *lightning bolts crash all over the place*

Super Saiyan Gnome: o_O Er...I have to...help...the fridge...tie it's shoe...*runs away*

*Suddenly Marth bursts onto the scene*

Marth: Komochu. Makianiee.

Pikachu: ??

Marth: Makianiee.

Pikachu: ...CHU!! *Pikachu Thunder Waves the crap out of Marth, paralyzing him. Pikachu slowly pushes Marth off a cliff that just appeared.*

*Winner: Pikachu*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 18, 2007, 06:08:33 PM
MATCH 37

*Hard Man vs Gilder*


Gilder: Well crew, shall we pillage, raid, or try to score with some village ladies today?

Crew: RAID! PILLAGE! SCORE!

*strange noise*

Gilder: All 3? Sounds good *strange noise gets louder* to me...did any of you hear that?

Crew: RAID! PILLAGE! SCORE!

*strange noise is still getting louder*

Gilder: *looks around* What the hell is that? *looks up* Oh ****.

Hard Man: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *smashes Gilder and crashes through The Claudia sending the entire crew to their deaths*

Gyro Man: *flies by Hard Man* See? Isn't this fun?

Hard Man: I should have listened to Wily. I should have just stayed in my room and waited for Rock to find me.

Gyro Man: Chill out, man. Why are you so scared?

Hard Man: I can't fly, you moron!

Gyro Man: Oh! Er...gotta run! *leaves*

Hard Man: *ground approaches* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

*meanwhile*

Mega Man: *inside Hard Man's lair* Isn't there supposed to be some robot master that I fight now? I couldn't have already beaten him, I haven't warped back to the lab yet. *strange noise* Hmm? What was that? *strange noise gets louder* >_> What the...*looks up* Aww crap!

Hard Man: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! *smashes into Mega Man*

*Winner: Hard Man*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 18, 2007, 06:08:47 PM
MATCH 38

*Mr. X!!!!! vs Luigi*


*Luigi and Mr. X!!!!! stare each other down fiercely. In this battle of SSG favorites, who will emerge the victor? Either way, it's sure to both upset and please Gnome.*

Luigi: I'ma Luigi! Number 1!

Mr. X!!!!!: Fool! I will take over the world! *strange noise* Hmm? *looks up*

Gilder: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Mr. X!!!!!:
Meep! *Jumps into wrecking ball machine for safety. Gilder splats on the ground* Well, that was unexpected. *The Claudia falls on the wrecking ball machine. An absolute crap load of explosions ensue.*

Luigi: Yippie! *walks away*

*Winner: Luigi*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 19, 2007, 05:51:01 PM
MATCH 39

*An army of Jigglypuffs vs Florina*


Jigglypuff: Puff! Jigglypuff!

Florina: Aww. Aren't you cute? *another Jigglypuff walks over*

Other Jigglypuff: Jiggly! Jigglypuff! Puff!

Florina: Ooo. There's more of you. You're all so cuddly!

*more Jigglypuffs appear*

Jigglypuffs: Puff! Jiggly! Jigglypuff puff!

Florina: >_> *getting worried* Hehe. How many of you are there?

*yet more Jigglypuffs appear*

Florina: >_> <_< Meep.

*Still more Jigglypuffs appear. They're coming down from tree tops, over hills, and through the sky. There are Jigglypuffs lined up right to the horizon*

Jigglypuffs: JIGGLYPUFF! PUFF! PUFF! JIGGLY! JIGGLYPUFF!!!

*POUND! ROLLOUT! SLEEP! POUND! SING! ROLLOUT!*

*The mauling continues until nightfall, when the Jigglypuffs leave as suddenly as they appeared*

*Winner: An army of Jigglypuffs*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 19, 2007, 05:53:49 PM
MATCH 40

*Billy Coen vs Leon Kennedy*


*Billy emerges from the forest exhausted. He finally managed to lose those damn crows. He looks up to see an equally exhausted man gazing at what used to be a city. Something took place here. Something big. Billy walks over.*

Billy: T-Virus?

Leon: Plumber. Hey, how do you know about the T-Virus?

Billy: I won't go into detail now, but I will say that you should never trust a guy who wears a dress and is obsessed with leeches. I'm starving. Do you know if any restaurants survived through this?

Leon: I don't know. You should go explore. I'll stay here and plot how to kill you so I can advance to the next round.

Billy: Hmm? I wasn't listening. Eh, never mind. I'm gonna go look for food. *leaves*

Leon: *to himself* He knows about the T-Virus. I don't want to hurt him, but I can't take the risk of Umbrella being reorganized...

*meanwhile*

Billy: Man, I'm stuffed. That ogre was quite filling. *As he heads back to where Leon is, he notices what appears to be a small boy in a purple pirate costume. He appears to be sneaking up on Leon, and he has a knife!* Crap!

Salazar: Time to die, Mr. Kennedy!

Leon: EEK!!

Billy: MOTHER LOVE!!

Salazar: Huh? *thwack*

Leon: Thanks, buddy! *Hugs Billy and hits him in the back with something hard*

Billy: ...did you just plant a mine on me?

Leon: Uh...no. ^_^ *walks away*

Billy: *Reaches behind him and grabs a mine* ...dammit. *BOOMSPLAT*

*Winner: Leon*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 20, 2007, 07:58:06 PM
MATCH 41

*Samus vs Iggy Koopa*


Iggy: NIMBLE! NIMBLE LIKE A BUTTERFLY ON A SUNNY CHRISTMAS TOASTER!

Samus: *fires missle*

Iggy: *evades* BOOOOOM! MY SCANNER LIKES FIRETRUCKS! *suddenly a sword falls from the sky and hits Iggy in the face*

Samus: ...

*Meta Knight hops off his star*

Samus: *raises arm canon*

Meta Knight: *raises...arm canon?*

Samus: ??

Meta Knight: *fires*

*Samus gets vaporized*

Apparently it is possible to eat a ball of pure destructive energy. Who woulda guessed?

*Winner: Meta Knight*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 20, 2007, 07:58:58 PM
MATCH 42

*Dr. Robotnick vs Auron*


*Robotnick hops in saucer*

Auron: Heh. No mere machine can defeat me. I will be more than a match for you.

Dr. Robotnick: Don't underestimate the power of machin*fires laser*

Auron: *patiently waiting Robotnick to finish his dialogue* o_O *thwack* ****ing cheater!

*Winner: Dr. Robotnick*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 21, 2007, 07:34:34 PM
MATCH 43

*Link vs Pac Man*


*it appears the fight has already started*

Pac Man: *runs by* WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!

Link: *runs by in boxers* I'll kill you!!

*Pac Man runs around a corner. Link follows shortly after, but Pac Man is nowhere to be found*

Link: Excuse me familiar looking yellow circle with a bow, have you seen another yellow circle run by here recently?

*Familiar looking yellow circle with a bow points in the opposite direction*

Link: Thanks! *Takes off* Wait a minute...*turns around*

Pac Man: *takes off bow* WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA! *runs away*

Link: Oooooooooo!!!

*cue Benny Hill music*

*Pac Man runs by camera with Link on his tail*

*Link runs by camera with Power Pellet Pac Man closely following him*

*Pac Man runs by camera with Link firing arrows at him*

*Link runs by camera as Ganon stamps the land flat behind him*

*Pac Man runs by camera as the four ghosts pursue*

*Pac Man and Link collide*

Link: I have you now!

Pac Man: >_> <_< *CHOMP* WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!! *runs away*

Link: *now naked* >_<...V_V...;_;

Ganon: OOPS! *trips and falls over...right on Link*

*Winner: Pac Man*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 21, 2007, 07:36:21 PM
MARTH 44

*Vyse vs Earl*


Vyse: >_>

Earl: <_<

Vyse: HAAAAAAA!

Earl: <_<

Vyse: OOUUAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Earl: What are you doing?

Vyse: Focusing. HHHNNNNNNNNNNNGG!

Earl: *blinks* *pants fall*

Vyse: That should be enough. This'll be odd without the others, but I think I can manage.

Earl: ...huh?

Vyse: We call forth...the power...of the Ancients! Prophecy!!

Angry Moon: 3 days...o_O What the? Hey! Put me down you little runt! What? No! NO! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Earl: O_O

*Winner: Vyse*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 22, 2007, 03:33:43 PM
MATCH 45

*Zero vs Mega Man X*


X: Hello, Zero.

Zero: Hello, X.

*make out session*

X: Why did I do that? I'm a robot. I shouldn't have feelings. Is this wrong? Wrong to be attracted to another robot?

Edgar: You totally ARE a chick! Oh man!

Zero: grr...

Ultros: Come back to Uncle Ulty!!

Edgar: meep! *runs away*

Zero: You're supposed to be dead! *chases Edgar*

X: I can't get attracted to Zero. What happens if I get attached to him and he goes Maverick? I would probably have to kill him then. Why do I kill? Isn't there a peaceful solution?

Ultros: ...you talk too much.

X: Hmm? Oh...hello, talking squid. If you're a squid, how can you talk? Do squids have voice boxes?

Ultros: >_< grr...

X: Shouldn't you be in the water? Squids are aquatic animals, how are you on land? Are you a robot too? Why are you purple? *SMASH*

Ultros: Moron. *walks away*

*Winner: Ultros, apparently*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 22, 2007, 03:35:33 PM
MATCH 46

*Pious Agustus vs Erk*

Erk: *sigh* How do I keep getting myself into these things?

Pious: May the darkness take you. *walks away*

Erk: Hey...where are you going? Come back here!

Black Guardian: Brother Luther...

Erk: Uh...I think you have me mistaken for someone AIE ME CABESA! *head pops*

*Winner: Pious*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 24, 2007, 10:27:05 PM
MATCH 47

*Baraka vs Johnny Cage*


Cage: Ready to die, slime ball?

Baraka: TRANKNERGLE! *slashes at Cage but misses*

Cage: Ha! Too slow, smiley! You should know I'm a master of Ka-ra-taey. Oh yeah. That was smooth.

Baraka: GRONKSLAGLE! *lunges at Cage with claws extended but misses again*

Cage: Pfft. You're so predictable. You aren't even a challenge. I should just give you an autograph and send you home before you hurt yourself.

Baraka: EATATJOESCRABSHACKITSREALLYREALLYGOOD! *sprints at Cage with claws extended*

Cage: Hmm...that's a good idea. Their lobster is incredi*stab* OOF! My stomach!

Sonya: JOHNNY!!!!

Cage: SONYAAAAA!!!

Baraka: IPREFERTHESHRIMPBASKETS!!! *rips Cage in half*

*Winner: Baraka*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 24, 2007, 10:29:25 PM
MATCH 48

*Olaf the Stout vs Donkey Kong*


Olaf: You're funny looking. Let's team up.

DK: ^_^

*Winner: Olaf and DK*


Hmm? Think that's a really crappy way to end round 2? You're right!

SPECIAL MATCH

*Zelos Wilder vs Queen Brahne*


Zelos: Hello human female. Have some piping you need unclog-HOLY GOD YOU'RE HUGE!

Brahne: BWAHAHAHAHA!! I DO HAVE PIPES IN NEED OF SOME CLEANING!! *lunges at Zelos*

Zelos: EEEK! *prances away*

*suddenly, FUJIN FALLS OUT OF THE SKY!*

Fujin: Ah ha! I am Fujin! Fear me!

Regal: KAMEHAMEHA!!

Fujin: o_O *dead*

Regal: >_> *explodes*

Zelos: Grr...

Brahne: Grr...

Bomb-omb: Grr...

Zelos: UH OH! *boom* AAAIIIEEEEE!!

Brahne: OH NO! *boom* UWAHAHAHAHA!!

*Winner: whoever thinks both characters suck*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 24, 2007, 10:33:28 PM
And now, the Round 3 Recap brought to you by THE WONDER CHEF!!

There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Wesker dissapears, Yoshi corpses are strewn about, there is carnage everywhere, and who emerges victorious? Jill and Barry, of course. *pats gun*

Angry Moon proved to be much hungrier than Angry Sun, giving Little Mac an easy victory.

Proto Man takes out Naked Raiden after he takes out KOS-MOS. Proto's becomming quite overpowered.

Pikachu scares the piss out of me and throws Marth off a cliff for the victory.


I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Hard Man fell. That in itself gave him the victory over Gilder.

In an unusual case of match continuity, Luigi moves on due to Mr. X!!!!! being plastered by Gilder's demolished ship.

Florina is no match for an army of Jigglypuffs. Can anybody stop them?

Billy's a moron. Not as stupid as Colette, but he's still a moron. Leon Kennedy didn't even have to try to advance to round 3.


If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Who would have thought that in a match between Samus and Iggy, Meta Knight would pop back up and win? Me, that's who. I wrote it. Meta Knight won. Period.

I know nothing about Auron, and this proved useful for Dr. Robotnik. He advances.

Pac Man beats Link due to Ganon's clumsiness.

Angry Moon returns to smash Earl. Vyse moves on because pirates rule when they aren't facing Hard Man.


These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

In a match full of FFVI returns, Ultros blows up X and apparently moves on, considering Zero and Edgar are probably off frolicking in some meadow.

Pious Agustus takes out Erk thanks to some help from a Black Guardian.

Baraka likes shrimp. Johnny Cage found this out the hard way.

Could it be? Olaf the Stout and Donkey Kong join forces? Yup. On a side note, two really crappy characters got their asses kicked by a walking bomb.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 24, 2007, 10:34:45 PM
ROUND 3!!

There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Jill and Barry vs Little Mac
Proto Man vs Pikachu


I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Hard Man vs Luigi
An army of Jigglypuffs vs Leon S. Kennedy


If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Meta Knight vs Dr. Robotnik
Pac Man vs Vyse


These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

Ultros vs Pious Agustus
Baraka vs Olaf the Stout and Donkey Kong
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: Ryu # 20 on August 25, 2007, 10:12:46 AM
Protoman vs. Pikachu

Protoman: WTF? I'm fighting a little yellow mutant mouse?

Pikachu: (*Looks happy*) Pikaaaa!

Protoman: HA! Mouse or not, you're going down! BLUE STRIKE!!! (*Launches Blue Strike to Pikachu*)

Pikachu: (*Hit by Blue Strike*) Pika!?... (*Looks ill, sparks come out of his cheeks*) Pi-pi-piiiikaaaaaa.... CHUUUUUUUU!!! (*sneezes*)

Protoman: (*Hit by thundershock*) GYAAH! Oh no... Electric attack... power overflow... short-circuit! (*brain burns*)

(*Winner: Pikachu*)
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: Ryu # 20 on August 25, 2007, 10:22:24 AM
Army of Jigglypuffs vs. Leon S. Kennedy

Leon: (*Looks scared in typical Jill Valentine fashion*) What are these things? Some new T-Virus creatures?

A.O.J.: (*They look glaringly at Leon*)

Leon: (*Grabs shotgun*): I must dispose of them quickly.

Claire Redfield: Leon!

Leon: Claire! (*Looks away*)

A.O.J.: (*Destroy both of them like the pieces of s*** they are, then they flush them down a toilet*)

The army of Jigglypuffs make justice once again!

(*Winner: Army of Jigglypuffs*)
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 25, 2007, 04:42:51 PM
I don't mind if you wish to try your own hand at writing one of these but now I have to get back to posting Official matches. =p
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 25, 2007, 05:06:11 PM
One match a day now since we're nearing the end.


MATCH 49

*Jill and Berry vs Little Mac*


Jill: Are you ready for this, Barry?

Barry: Oh yeah. *pats gun*

Little Mac: I may be small, but you're not!

Barry: *pats gun*

Jill: Uh...ok? Is that supposed to scare us or something?

Barry: *pats gun*

Little Mac: I've beaten guys four times your size! You're nothing I can't ha*BLAM*

Barry: >_> Er...*puts gun back in holster*

Jill: *gurgle*

Barry: Sorry...

Jill: X_X

Barry: >_> *throws bread on Jill* Jill sandwich. Hehe.

Little Mac: So are we gonna fight or what?!

Barry: Hmm? Oh, right. You. *shoots Mac in the face*

*Winner: Barry*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 26, 2007, 08:32:51 PM
MATCH 50

*Proto Man vs Pikachu*


Pikachu: Pika! Pikachu!!

Proto Man: How did something so cute make it this far?

Pikachu: Chu!!

Proto Man: Oh well. I might as well try out these new powers. *uses Nudity-suddenly all of his armor falls off exposing his circuitry* Well that wasn't what I was expecting. How about this one? *uses The Jug Factor-Proto's chest juts out quickly, severly damaging his artifical respirators in the process* *gasp* Oh crap.

Pikachu: >:-) PIKA!!! *uses Thunder on Proto Man*

Proto Man: o_O *PFOOF!*

*Winner: Pikachu*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on August 27, 2007, 06:01:54 PM
MATCH 51

*Hard Man vs Luigi*


Hard Man: Hello.

Luigi: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! *charges Hard Man and does the feeble running punches*

Hard Man: *dink dink dink* Why did you do that? I was just being nice.

Luigi: *looks at broken hands* ;_;

Hard Man: Here. Take my hands. I don't need them. *uses rocket fists*

Luigi: O_O *BLAM*

Hard Man: -_- Oh poo. I was just trying to help...

*Winner: Hard Man*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on September 01, 2007, 10:08:49 PM
MATCH 52

*An army of Jigglypuffs vs Leon Kennedy*


*The city is quiet. Deathly quiet. The rain pours down from the sky. Jigglypuffs line the street and fill every window. From the masses, a single Jigglypuff emerges.*

Jigglypuff: Hello, Mr. Kennedy. How nice of you to join us.

Leon: Whoa. You can talk. Heh.

Jigglypuff: Do you honestly think you can beat all of us, Mr. Kennedy? I have grown strong. Very strong. You cannot beat me, Mr. Kennedy. Here, I am God.

Leon: It doesn't matter how strong you are. I'll take you down, even if it's the last thing I do. After all, my middle initial isn't S for nothing.

Jigglypuff: And what does that stand for? Super?

Leon: No. Scott.

Jigglypuff: Oh.

Leon: This ends now.

Jigglypuff: JIGGLYPUFF!!

*Jigglypuff charges at Leon. Leon charges at Jigglypuff. They collide and a flurry of fists is seen. Neither seems to have an advantage. Both are taking heavy damage, but their expressions remain neutral. The rain falls on the city with even more ferocity than before. This pizza I'm eating is a little hard, but still very good. Eventually, Leon is knocked to the ground. Jiggly moves in for the kill.*

Jigglypuff: Time to die, Mr. Kennedy. Everything that has a beginning has an end. Wait...what did I just say? What...what are you doing??

Leon: *Gameboy in hand* I'm ending you.

Jigglypuff: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Leon rips the Pokemon Gold cart from the Gameboy. Jigglypuff explodes. Soon after, the other Jigglypuffs do the same. The rain clears, and Leon collapses to the ground in exhaustion.*

*Winner: Leon Kennedy*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on September 13, 2007, 08:13:03 PM
MATCH 53

*Meta Knight vs Dr. Robotnik*


Dr. Robotnik: Haha! Something as small as you will never make it past...my...hey! Where the hell is my army?!

Meta Knight: *points behind Robotnik to the pile of scrap*

Dr. Robotnik: Er...very well! What I meant was there's no need for my army because I want to destroy you myself! Now let me just find my...ok, where's my hovercraft?

Meta Knight: *points to Robotnik's right where the demolished hovercraft lays*

Dr. Robotnik: >_< Metal Sonic, destroy him! -_- Don't tell me you destroyed him too.

Meta Knight: *shakes head*

Dr. Robotnik: Then who? Who would have the power to destroy one of my creations?

Mysterious voice: It was I! *hops down from ledge*

Dr. Robotnik: Shadow! Why would you destroy Metal Sonic?!

Shadow: Because I'm super cool and that robot was super lame. *shoots Robotnik in the face* Now it's your turn.

Meta Knight: *points arm canon* *gyrates as if to say "after you"*

Shadow: Ha! You think that puny blaster can take me out? You'll have to catch m*WHAP* *Shadow falls with Meta Knight's sword lodged in his knee* Crap.

*Meta Knight blasts Shadow and vaporizes him*

*Winner: Meta Knight*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on September 13, 2007, 08:20:57 PM
MATCH 54

*Pac Man vs Vyse*


Vyse: Ugh. Not another Looper. I hate these things.

Pac Man: WAKKA WAKKA!

Vyse: Er...you aren't a Looper at all, are you?

Pac Man: *CHOMP* *eats Vyse's eye patch* WAKKA!

Vyse: Arg! My glass eye patch! Now I'm blind for some unknown reason!

*Suddenly Drachma flies in on the Little Jack*

Drachma: Die, circular yellow thing! *opens fire*

Pac Man: *CHOMP* *eats cannon balls and gets really big*

*For some strange reason, the Little Jack turns purple*

Pac Man: WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!

Drachma: Harpoon Cannon, fire! *nothing happens* Fire, dammit! *still nothing* I'm ****ed, aren't I? *right as Pac Man is about to chomp down on the Little Jack, it regains it's normal colors and Pac Man shrinks. The Harpoon Cannon is set off, and hits Pac Man right in the mouth*

Pac Man: Uuwawawawa *boop boop* *Pac Man breaks in half and disappears*

*Drachma lands*

Drachma: Are you alright, boy? >_> <_< Boy? Where are you? *notices Vyse's feet hanging out from under the Little Jack* Er...gottagobye! *Hops in Little Jack and flies away at top speed*

*Winner: Drachma*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on September 25, 2007, 11:56:53 PM
MATCH 55

*Ultros vs Pious Agustus*


Ultros: Come to Uncle Ulty!!

*Zero comes in and rips Ultros to pieces*

Zero: That was for X and really dirty thoughts!

Pious: Wait, shouldn't you be dead?

Zero: Of course not. Leaving a match without any clear proof of being dead almost always means an appearance later on in this contest.

Pious: Oh. Ok.

Zero: Yup. *walks away*

Pious: Well that was simple.

Xel'lotath: Pray to me that you survive this match.

Pious: But I've already won.

Xel'lotath: PRAY TO ME ANYWAY!!

Pious: meep! Alright, alright. Just don't pop my head. You can't imagine how hard it'll be to piece back together. All I have on me right now is a straw and some peanuts that I took from Anthony's pocket.

Xel'lotath: Why would Anthony have peanuts?

Pious: Why wouldn't Anthony have peanuts?

Xel'lotath: Touché. Have some duct tape. *hands over duct tape*

Pious: What's this for?

Xel'lotath: PRAYING TIME IS OVER!! *pops Pious's skull*

Pious: *pieces head back together and tapes it up* I knew I should have picked the blue stone...

*Winner: Pious*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on September 26, 2007, 12:00:38 AM
MATCH 56

*Baraka vs Olaf the Stout and Donkey Kong*


Olaf: Together me and Donkey Kong are unstoppable!

Baraka: HEREHAVEADONUTORFOURTHOUSAND!

Olaf: Thank you! *eats donuts until he pops*

DK: o_O

Baraka: O_o

DK: O_O

Baraka: O_O

DK: UWAGH!

Baraka: GLONKSHLAGLE!

*Both charge and punch each other in the face. Baraka has big butt claws whereas DK does not.*

*Winner: Baraka*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on September 26, 2007, 12:08:13 AM
And now, the Quarter Finals Recap brought to you by THE WONDER CHEF!!


There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Barry accidentally pops a cap in Jill's overly large butt, then does the same on purpose to Mac for an easy win.

Proto Man found out his new powers completely sucked and Pikachu took advantage for the upset.


I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Hard Man blasted Luigi's head clean off while trying to help his handless friend.

In a match where I'm betting everybody noticed the Truman knock at the end but not the Matrix knock for every other part of the fight, Leon Kennedy soundly put the army of Jigglypuffs down.


If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Robotnik proved yet again that he's completely useless and was easily gunned down by Shadow, who in turn was easily gunned down by Meta Knight.

In a surprise showing, Drachma harpooned Pac Man then pulled a Wizard of Oz and landed his home right on Vyse's head.


These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

Zero hacks up Ultros and goes on his merry way to give Pious Agustus a completely undeserved win.

Olaf ate donuts and Donkey Kong ate giant arm blade. Baraka moves on.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on September 26, 2007, 12:09:16 AM
Quarter Final layout:


There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Barry vs Pikachu


I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Hard Man vs Leon Kennedy


If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Meta Knight vs Drachma


These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

Pious Agustus vs Baraka
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on September 29, 2007, 08:31:11 PM
MATCH 57

*Barry vs Pikachu*


Pikachu: Pika! Pikachu!

Barry: What are you? You seem to be...a...RAT...or something.

Pikachu: Chu! Pika pika!

Barry: Those noises you're making. Perhaps you're trying to TELL me something. *pats gun*

Pikachu: Chu! Chu pika! Pikachu!

Barry: Yes, yes. I know.

Pikachu: Pika!

Barry: Mmmhmm. *pats gun*

Pikachu: Pika pika! Pikachu!

Barry: What?! Don't you ever talk about my mother that way! *fires gun*

Pikachu: *dodges* O_O PIKACHU!! *starts glowing*

Magnius: Dispose of this Vermin!!

Barry: Hmm? Who are you? You appear to be from somewhere else. Somewhere else that I have never been to. Perhaps I will go there some day. *pats gun*

Pikachu: *is glowing very brightly*

Magnius: The Vermin must die!

Barry: You mean...this...RAT...or something?

Magnius: *sigh* You stupid inferior being. Of course I do!

Pikachu: *glowing like crazy and just plain pissed off* PIKACHUUU!!!

*lightning strikes the land repeatedly, causing mass destruction and chaos through all the land*

Magnius: Gah! Oof! Vermin! Other grunt type sound signifying I'm in great pain! *dies*

Barry: *pats gun*

Pikachu: ??

Barry: *turns to dust and flies away in the breeze*

*Winner: Pikachu*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: Sync The Tempest on September 29, 2007, 08:37:24 PM
Dude How Old Is THIS?
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: shootYr. on September 29, 2007, 10:26:05 PM
Damn thats a hell of allot of posting. His Post count must have increased by like 29....
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on October 03, 2007, 09:34:58 PM
MATCH 58

*Hard Man vs Leon Kennedy*


Leon: So...to make it this far you must be pretty good, huh?

Hard Man: I like to think that I'm just lucky.

Leon: Uh huh...so, shall we begin?

Hard Man: No. First, I want to play a game. I'm tired of fighting. You pick.

Leon: Fine. We play chess.

Hard Man: I call the blue team!

Leon: There is no blue team. I'll let you be white. That even gives you first move.

Hard Man: White's so boring. Fine. Just give me the dice and I'll start.

Leon: -_- Do you even know what chess is?

Hard Man: OF COURSE HARD MAN KNOWS WHAT CHESS IS! HARD MAN IS A CHESS GOD!!

Wood Man: *singing* Chess God, comin at ya!!

Hard Man: *moves pawn* I'm gonna kick your butt!

Wood Man: *singing* The Chess God strikes again!

Leon: Man: This guy's annoying. Oh well. *moves knight*

*A few turns go by*

Leon: *moves bishop* Check.

Hard Man: Do you take cash?

Leon: Uh...sure...*Hard Man hands Leon $5*

Hard Man: So what does that get me?

Leon: Nothing, but it gets me $5. By the way, your king is in danger.

Hard Man: WHAT?! HARD MAN WILL SAVE THE KING!! *smashes Leon's bishop flat*

Wood Man: *singing* Ground it into dust!

Leon: Why did you do that??

Hard Man: HARD MAN DOES WHAT HE LIKES!!

Wood Man: *singing* What he likes when he likes!

*Leon lights a match and throws it at Wood Man*

Wood Man: UAAAGH!! OH GOD! WHY?! WHY MUST I BE MADE OF THIS INFERNAL WOOD?! *runs away*

Hard Man: GAME OVER! HARD MAN SMASH HUMIEE!

*Hard Man is unaware of the very tiny man climbing his leg*

Leon: Ah. There's the burning intelect I knew you had hidden away.

Hard Man: GRARGH!

Top Man: Go get 'em Hardy!

Hard Man: SHUT UP, *****! *punches Top Man's head off*

*Hard Man is unaware of the very tiny man now removing his crotch plate*

Leon: So, mind telling me how to kill you?

Hard Man: HARD MAN WILL CONSIDER IT IF HE GETS HIS $5 BACK!

*Hard Man is unaware of the very tiny man dropping a grenade in the now open hatch*

Leon: How about I double that? $2.50 if you give me the information.

Hard Man: SURE! *BOOM*

Leon: o_O

Very Tiny Man: Whee!!

Leon: Who the hell are you?

Phil: I'm Phil.

Leon: Uh huh...

Phil: That was fun!

Leon: Are you a Star Wars fan?

Phil: No, but I love the Hoth scene.

Leon: Yeah, thought so.

Phil: How'd you guess?

Leon: I'll tell you if we meet again. I'm going home.

Phil: :-(

Leon: *walks away* *squish* Aw crap.

*Winner: Leon*
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on October 03, 2007, 09:35:42 PM
It's pretty old, yea, I just like keeping it around.
Title: Re: The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome
Post by: The Utility Man on November 04, 2007, 02:23:46 PM
MATCH 59

*Meta Knight vs Drachma*


Meta Knight: ...

Drachma: UWAAAAAAAGH!

Meta Knight: ...

Drachma: HOO! *charges* TAKE THAT! *tackle*

*Explosions ensue*

*Drachma falls to the ground. Meta Knight walks over and removes his sword from Drachma's gut*

Meta Knight: -_- *shakes head in shame*

*Winner: Meta Knight*
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